The other day I was doing some thinking about this lifestyle and how I have progressed in my life. I used to be the type that had no patience. I put expectations on people before I had a chance to get to know them, let alone meet them. I was always quick to jump to conclusions. I always thought that life was going to pass me by without me. After countless times of feeling let down and hurt, I took sometime to myself and stepped away. I analyzed myself and where the breakdowns and hurt was coming from. I realized I was impatient. I wanted things right then. Someone once told me that not everyone could be what I wanted or expected them to be. Another person told me that you can not force things on anyone. I learned that patience was the best. I learned that good things DO come to those who wait. Rome was not built in a day. We shouldn't expect anything to happen over night. In my vanilla life, I was being a friend to someone and I told them that life is only overwhelming if you allow it to stress you out. Take things one at a time. At the end of the day, life always seems to work itself out. Life is funny like that.
Many times I come across people in this lifestyle who want now, who expect now, who demand now. What do I tell them? Be patient. And how many times do I get an eye roll or I cant be patient? TOO DAMN MANY. if you can not learn to exercise self control and have patience, then you will be nothing more then a friend to me. If you can demonstrate those things, then I would consider more. Too many times I have pissed someone off by saying this. Guess what, I am here for me. If you want to ride this train with me, then please follow my lead and simple instructions. If not, then don't even fucking get on. Period. One of the quickest ways to get on my bad side is to push me. Push me and I will do one of two things. Push back and harder, or walk away. Ask anyone who really knows me about pushing back. It is not a good thing. Patience is a virtue. Whoever coined that phrase is right on the money. I can not tell you how many times I have exercised patience that before I needed to make my decision, it worked itself out.
Another discussion I had once was about eagerness vs impatience. Eagerness is a lot different. Eagerness can fall into the category of being willing, being open. Being eager is a good thing. Being eager is a sign of wanting to learn, and be taught. I like someone that is eager to learn. There is a big difference between the two. A person who is eager is easy to teach. They are a sponge, looking to soak anything and everything up. It is possible that an eager person can turn impatient.
My final thought is this. Being inpatient can put you or someone else at risk. And in this lifestyle, hell in any lifestyle, putting someone at risk is not a good thing. So don't do it. Don't allow someone to put you at risk. Patience truly is a virtue. Learn patience if you do not already know it.
I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.