Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Can I manipulate you?!?

Driving to work this morning, I was doing some thinking. By a show of hands, those of you reading this, who likes to receive a bare handed spanking? Nice. Ok, put your hands down. Now, raise your hand if you like to administer bare handed spankings. I am with you there. Ok, now, by a show of hands who likes to receive a good paddling? OH YEAH!!!! Ok, by a show of hands, who thinks I am now manipulating you to raise your hand? Damn skippy. You are submitting to me through my words. Oh, don’t sit there and say, “Nope, not me. You’re not making me doing anything.” Yea ok. Sure. Right. If you say so. Oh and do me a favor. Stop rolling your eyes at me. Yes you. You too.

I was thinking oh how easy people can be manipulated. I admit, I am easily manipulated, when I am blindsided by it. Think about this. When you go to the store, and you’re standing in line waiting to check out and you hear “I can take you over here.” Or “My lane is open.” Or what about when you sit down at a restaurant and the server suggests a drink of choice. Or when you attend a meeting or reading someone’s blog and they are asking you questions and ask for you to raise your hand to show agreement. See, manipulated. It’s ok to admit it. I will keep it my little secret. Store it away in the vault inside my mind. However, I do reserve the right to use it against you at a later date. What? Not fair? Honey, the last time I checked life isn’t fair. Besides, you and I both know, if I am going to use something against you, it is going to be mutually beneficial to us both. Right? See, manipulated you again. It’s all about perception babe. Ok, maybe it is not manipulation per se when you are asked a question and you answer. But when you are asked a question and steered towards a certain answer, then yes, you are being manipulated.

I used to know a sub lady who I met through the internet. Our relationship was purely internet based. We met in a chat room, struck up conversations and developed a good friendship. Oh, and she is submissive. So, after a while we exchanged phone numbers and started calling one another on the phone quite frequently. She would tell me about her man/Dom problems. I would tell her about my girl/sub problems. We would discuss current affairs, the weather. Whether wood or leather made a better paddle etc. One thing she always told me was I had a great phone voice. I knew this from being in high school and a lot of the girls swooning over me because of my deep baritone voice. She told me that Barry White was a soprano compared to me. Would any of you ladies like to find out yourself? WEG!!!!

One night we were on the internet chatting away and flirting with one another and before I knew it, we were on the phone partaking in some phone sex. Some good phone sex I might add. So here I am telling her things I would do to her, telling her a little story and she is moaning to me on the phone. And me being the mean bastard I am, I ordered her to stop rubbing her clit, which she claims she did. As she was calming down, instructed her to rub some more. Having her stop and start many more times, this went on for about 30 minutes or so. I asked her if she ever had her clit spanked and she moaned into the phone that she loved it. Deepening my voice into a growl, I told her to spank it three times. A soft moan escaped her lips and I then told her I was not happy with those. Then I told her to spank it like I would spank it. The next thing I hear is 3 hard skin on skin slaps, and then a woman moaning and cumming into the phone. Did she really slap her clit? Well, I would think yes. Only she could tell you. But listening to her and her reaction, I truly don’t think she did NOT do it.

Manipulation is a strong and powerful thing. We all do it to some point. Subconsciously we all are manipulating and being manipulated. Yes even a Dom like me gets manipulated. It happens. It is a fact of life. Sometimes it is personal, sometimes it is professional. But it does happen. I am not telling you this so you can strengthen you wall and prevent yourself from being manipulated. I am simply opening your eyes and trying to get you to have a better understanding.

I might say things, or do things for personal satisfaction. Maybe manipulate someone into getting an answer I want or need to hear, but that doesn’t make me a bad person. It just makes me a better manipulator than you.

Seriously though, all joking aside, I truly believe it is part of our psyche to want some aspect of control in our life. Manipulation is how it happens. Maybe it is the server asking you if you want coffee, tea or her. Maybe it is a Dom who wants an ego boost or a submissive who manipulates a Dom into getting a spanking. Whatever it is, manipulation is part of us. Don’t deny it. Accept it, harness its power, and use it to your advantage. Just be careful who you try to manipulate, because they might manipulate you in return for themselves.

Thanks for allowing me to manipulate your eyes and your mind while reading my blog. I know I enjoyed it. I hope it was good for you too.


I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.

Sunday, November 27, 2011


I am writing this with a lot of pain in my heart and soul. Yesterday I did a terrible thing that 36 hours later I am still in pain. Even have some regrets. Morally I don’t think I should have done it. Morally I NEEDED to do it. There comes a time in life when you have to do what is best for someone else. Again, morally it is wrong but morally it is right.

I am talking about have a pet put down because their health is not good. Yesterday morning about 5am I woke to the sound of my dog shaking after waking. Usually the second or third thing I do after I wake up is walk to the bathroom and take a leak. So naturally, like father like son, my dog followed the same habit. Usually he would wake, stretch out his body, shake and then take a leak. So, by the time I hear the shake, I have just a few seconds to get to him and guide him outside to go “pottie”

Tucker boy as I called him was a rescue dog. About 5 years ago a lady brought him to my house to determine if I would be a fit father to have a dog. She checked out the house, made sure there were no little kids around, noticed I had a back yard that was fenced in and chatted with me to make sure I was not some satan worshiper who would sacrifice the dog for a chance at a blonde blue eyed virgin. Satisfied all was well with my house, I wrote a check to her rescue for Tucker and this Tucker became a part of me. His first night in my home was spent doing some whimpering and whining, a lot of walk around to check the place out and a lot of trips outside to train him to piss there instead of on the carpet inside.

The next 4 years were great. A lot of laughter, anger and even car rides, sometimes just around the block for the hell of it. Some of the best times with Tucker were spent throwing a ball and watching him chase it down, bring it back to me and fighting me for it. Then tossing it again and repeating. Tucker didn’t care for toys that squeaked or jingled. Hell, I bought him raw hide bones and toys he wouldn’t even touch. One night I was playing with him, held the ball in my hand, made a fist and put my fist on the floor. Next thing I knew, tucker was lying on his belly and then rolling over. Laughing at it, I held the ball in the air and he started jumping for it. Then I put my fist back on the floor, Tucker immediately went to his belly and then rolled over. Whoever had Tucker before me had taught him a trick. Working with him, he knew how to sit, how to beg, even play dead. He was such a wonderful dog. I taught him my favorite trick and that was having him sit, then holding his snout in place, commanding him to stay. I would take a treat and put it on his snout, again commanding him to stay. I would move my hand and while he stared at the treat, he would not move a muscle. Then on cue, I would say get it and he would instantly jerk his head to the side and catch the treat before it hit the floor. Damn I loved playing with him.

About 18 months ago, I noticed that when tucker would go to his food or water bowl to drink, his back legs would shake. The vet later said that Tucker was getting old and he had arthritis. Not much to do. So I put him on the old fart dog food, you know, the food for seniors, in hopes it would help with his joint pain. The next thing to go with Tucker was his eye sight. The vet now tells me he had cataracts so bad in his eyes, he was practically blind. Many times Tucker would walk himself into a corner, bump into walls or chairs or whatever was in the way. Tossing the ball was not a thing of the past with him because he did not know when I threw it.

This is hard for me to type. I am sitting here wiping the tears from my eyes remembering the good and bad times with him. The pictures I took of him while he slept with his tongue hanging out, or laying half way out of his bed while he slept. There were times I would gently nudge him back into his bed and he would groan slightly and continue his snoring. Now I look at is empty bed right here beside my recliner and ask God to forgive me for having him put to sleep.

I had to do it. His quality of life was nil. In the past few months, Tucker wouldn’t even get out of bed, or even sit up before he would pee all over himself. Yesterday morning at 5am, hearing him shake and his collar jingle, I sprung from bed and rushed into the living room to help him outside. Instead what I found was Tucker lying in the kitchen on the tile floor. Lying in his own feces. He didn’t even have the strength to get up and do his business. Instead, with his head in his water bowl and his body covered in feces, his tongue was searching in his empty water bowl for a few drops of moisture. I knew at that point his quality of life was very poor. I picked him up in my arms and took him to the bathtub to give him one final bath. To bath him one final time. I made sure he was clean from head to toe. Bathed him twice just to be sure. Picking up in my towel, I brought him into the living room and proceeded to dry him off from his bath. Taking his brush, combing his bear and and fur, I cried because I knew that this would be my final hours with him.

At 7:45 I gently picked him up, walked out of the house to my car and gently laid him in the front seat. Making the drive to the vet, I gently stroked him on his head and down his back. His blind eyes looking in my direction, he knew where we were going. His eyes pleaded with me to not do it. To let him die at home and in peace. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t allow myself to watch and let him suffer like that. Leaving him in the car, I walked into the vet office and the lady behind the counter knew why I was there the instant she saw me without Tucker. Without saying a word she handed me a consent form and asked me if I wanted to stay with him. All I could do was shake my head. I couldn’t do it. I went back to the car, picked Tucker up in my arms for the last time and walked back inside. Cradling him in my arms, I rubbed his chest and belly one final time before she took him from me. Before she walked away, I kissed him one final time on his dry nose, removed his collar and watched her walk away with my little buddy.

As the door closed, I imagined him closing his eyes and taking one final deep breath knowing what was to come. As I the door clicked shut, I spoke out loud to Tucker one final time telling him I loved him and asking him to forgive me.

I miss you Tucker. I love you Tucker. I hope you have forgiven me little buddy. I pick up his collar one final time as I close this out, give it a jingle and call out, “Tucker bud, let’s go outside.”

Wednesday, November 16, 2011


So here I sit reading my own blog hoping for some inspiration to write and I just can not find it. Lately I have been driving down the road or someplace where I do not have access to a computer or a note pad and a subject will enter my head that would make a good blog post. But I end up forgetting. I am too young to be forgetting things. Maybe it is all those hits to the head when I played football.

I was reading about concussions a few years ago and one of the symptoms of a concussion is blurry vision and a head ache. So, when I visited the doctor for a check up, I was asking him questions about it. He confirmed that is true, then started asking me questions if I had a concussion, taken a blow to the head etc. I said sure, when I was in high school. LOL. I told him, that I played my entire football career with a concussion if headaches and blurry vision is a symptom of it. I always had a concussion. Maybe that explains my forgetfulness. Now, don’t think you can try to pull something over on me and when I say I don’t remember, you are not allowed to say it must be your concussion and forgetfulness. Not going to work.

Last night I was working out and I was talking to my sadistic trainer. I told him last night I thought he was a sadist and all he could do was laugh. Now I wonder if he is in the lifestyle because he never really commented anymore about it. Then again, because he didn’t comment, maybe he is NOT. As a matter of fact, there is a good excuse why I haven’t blogged much lately. My arms are too sore and tired from working out. Yea. YEA!!! That’s it. That’s the excuse. LOL. Last night while working out, there was a young female working out with another trainer that kept catching my eye. She had one of those asses that you could bounce a bowling ball off of. Nice, round, firm and plush. YUM YUM!!! Guess where my mind was? Yes, that’s right. My mind was in my head. You win a treat. Good job.

I ran into a friend from the lifestyle a couple of weeks ago at the store. We chatted about life in and out of the bedroom. Conversation drifted to scenes and paddlings. She told me her hubby was making paddles out of metal. Me being the freak that I am asked for a couple. I am waiting on my order to be filled. A nice metal paddle. I can not wait to use one on a sub.

Not too long, but very short. Just some ramblings in my head today to appease those of you who are thinking “I haven’t seen a post from him in a while.” Well, here ya go. Enjoy. And yes I am talking about you. Yes you, the one chuckling and thinking he must be talking about someone else. I am talking to you. Yes you. I love getting into peoples heads and making them smile for no reason what so ever. Only think I love more, is getting in their head and watching the cringe and curse themselves for letting me into their heads.

I am going to be a rebel today and not proof read nor spell check. Damn, I am such a wild hellion. LOL


I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.