tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63013819988269391702023-08-17T00:23:58.632-04:00My blogStrictnstern4uhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851596447579005429noreply@blogger.comBlogger85125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301381998826939170.post-78392153620839754052015-12-23T18:19:00.001-05:002015-12-23T18:55:05.967-05:00Darkness<span style="color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">Darkness. It surrounds me. It envelopes me. Darkness consumes me. I stretch, I reach, I strain for the light but it fades fast. When I accept the darkness all is calm. The dull pain in my chest fades. My breathing returns to normal. When I see the light fading, my breath catches in my throat. You know that catch, the one that if you voluntarily hold your breath at the same time as the catch in your breath, that's when the wetness flows. The stream trickles. The watery, blurry vision increases as those wet tears fall from your cheeks, from your chin and onto the floor below. I don't cry in sorrow or physical pain. I cry because just like everything and everyone else in my life, the light moves away from me and fades to dark. Then I accept the darkness. No need to close my eyes as the darkness squeezes out all the light. The tears stop. The breathing returns to normal. And I begin to float. My body becomes weightless and numb. My mind, empty. All I hear is the intake and exhale of breath as it flows in and out of my lungs. As I float in the darkness, the crazy, the deranged, the pain in my soul fades. My balance comes back. Not the balance of standing on my two feet, but the balance of sane versus insane. The voices subside. The urges dissipate. The desire to become a permanent fixture in the darkness fades away. I am able to look up and what looks like a far away star in a dark night becomes brighter and bigger. The light is coming back. Each time I say to myself let it come to me. Let it get bigger. My body becomes alive again. My mind purrs to life. My arms stretch and reach. My heart races. My breathing increases. My eyes widen. But my soul laughs and thus the cycle begins again. My dark soul doesn't want the light. My souls wants to die. My soul wants to squash all hopes of any life that the light will provide. And just like that, the light begins to fade and the darkness takes over. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">Me</span><br />
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears </span>Strictnstern4uhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851596447579005429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301381998826939170.post-62812538069418701622014-08-26T12:09:00.000-04:002014-08-26T12:09:08.733-04:00My own fear of my inner beastI have been asked to be more aggressive. I have been asked to let my inner beast out to which I have replied I am afraid of my inner beast. I’ve gotten chuckles and eye rolls because of that comment. But what these people fail to realize is that it truly is a fear of mine. There is one time that I did completely let myself go in a scene, one time. I will not go into details about that, but it was a mutually agreed upon rape scene. The aftermath of that still somewhat haunts me as to the violence and brutality that we both experienced in that scene. I don’t replay it in my head anymore because it ends up giving me a headache, but the fact is that 1) I was capable of such an act and 2) I went through it does leave me feeling uneasy. Side note, after the dust had settled, breathing somewhat returned to normal and we both came out of our respective mental highs, we agreed it was the most intense, yet most satisfying event ever, actually at the time of this writing, it still IS for me. <br />
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Which brings me to my point about why I am afraid if my inner beast. I have always been told even as a child to not be so rough because I don’t know my own strength as compared to others. When I played sports during my younger years, I was a good strong one to have on a team. It just something that came natural to me. Out of high school, I worked a couple of factory and production jobs where my strength got me the job. I have always been physically strong. <br />
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Sure people say they like it rough and are tough enough to be truly man handled by me or another man. Maybe that person is. But take a moment and step into my shoes, or better, into my mind. <br />
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I truly believe there are times that the sub/bottom using a safe word is not a good thing. Let me expand on this. Most times a safe word is used, it is to stop some sort of physical pain whether it be from a spanking or an attempt at anal sex or your safe word is used to end a scene because it has become too emotional for you. Say you do not like confinement but wish to experience tight bondage, maybe even suspension but the anxiety of this act becomes to much and you must use your safe word to end it and become freed as to help curb your anxiety. Often time people push themselves to help over come a fear and will use their safe word when they want to stop. So far the use of the safe word is because the sub/bottom felt they were at the peak of what they could handle and want to stop. With me so far? Good.<br />
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So lets say I just let myself go, let my inner beast take over and I wrap my hand around your throat, push you to the wall, even slightly lift you to enforce the aggressiveness of the act before I lean in to kiss you, or bite your shoulder or whatever is about to happen. However in your mind, this act is too much for you and you use your safe word to which I abide. At that point it is too late. The damage is done, maybe physically, but mostly mentally and emotionally because the line was crossed between pleasure and true fear. <br />
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Now, lets look at it from why I said it was bad, especially in the aspect of me letting my inner beast out. Back to the hand around the throat and I don’t know my own strength and I truly do physically hurt you in a bad way. So lets say I do let myself go and push you to the point of using your safe word out of true fear, but by the time your safe word is used, the damage is done physically or emotionally. I am not out for abuse, nor do I get off on inflicting it. Its one thing to build up to a point of you saying, “ok that’s enough for today” but its something else to just go bam and actually create an unsafe environment. <br />
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As I type this out, I have worked and sorted this out in my head a little more. The word sane just came to mind. Maybe I should state that in order to remain sane in this situation or scene, I work to keep my inner beast at bay, in a locked cage with in. I always, in my opinion, practice safely, sanely and in a consensual manner. With that said, I do have the forethought to know to keep my inner beast caged and under lock and key to prevent myself from playing in an unsafe, insane and non-consensual manner. Call it being preventive or proactive instead of reactive because if youre to the point of reacting, you could or probably are too late. <br />
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In the fantasy world, there are those who love the aggressive, the beast, the demon within us all. We all have that primal aspect to sex and to scenes. We all love it to some degree. However, in reality I have seen myself what I am capable of and how it scares ME, that is why I choose to keep my inner beast, my demon locked in a cage. Will I let him out? I am sure some day he will be released. But the trust to let him out is not to make sure he doesn’t hurt someone, but the trust is to make sure YOU are ready for him. <br />
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My closing thought is this, at the end of the day we all know our own limits, no one else knows them better than ones self. But sometimes you do need to exercise caution when challenging someone to let themselves go. We all have inner struggles with things and often times we don’t take that into consideration before asking someone to partake in something. Just keep that in mind the next time you ask someone to let themselves go. That person may not know their own strength and it is YOU that ends up hurt.<br />
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Me<br />
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<i>I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.</i>Strictnstern4uhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851596447579005429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301381998826939170.post-57305818547733503142014-06-04T14:20:00.005-04:002014-06-04T14:20:41.711-04:00Collection of short storiesBelow is a collection of short stories I have written on the past year or so. Instead of doing individual post I decided to put them all in one. I hope you enjoy and hope your fingers dont go numb from pleasuring yourself.<br />
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Snuggling behind you in bed. My chest hairs tickling your naked back. My arm snakes over your hips and rests on your belly. You roll back slightly molding your body into me. Your shoulder lays just beneath my chin. The whiskers in my face scratch get tickle your skin. Your body shifts slightly and my hardening cock nestled in the crack of your supple ass. Your hand comes behind you and rests on my hip as your hips gently grind back into me. You lift your leg slightly and my hard cock slips between. My swollen cock head rubs against your clit as you continue to gyrate your hips. My hand comes up to pinch and twists your nipples as your face turns to kiss my lips. Your hips move faster and before we know it, orgasms washes over your body as my cock twitches and splashes hot cum all over the outside of your pussy. Your hand slips between your legs to finish jerking me off and rubbing my cum all over your pussy<br />
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My hand slides over your hip and into your panties. My lips electrify your skin as I kiss your neck. My hand softly slips between your legs and into the folds of your pussy. You stir. Your legs part. My middle finger slides over your clit and to your damp fuck hole. Your body reacts by melting back into me.<br />
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Your hand comes up and grips the back of my neck pulling my lips to yours. A slight moan escapes your lips as I slip a finger into your hole. Your hand moves to your breasts and begins to pinch your nipple. <br />
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Your hips start bucking humping my fingers as I slip a second into your soppy wet hole. Your body tenses, your lips become numb. Your lungs paralyzed as you suck air in deep and hard. Your legs clamp hard around my hand. The the loan moan of an orgasm escapes your lips as your eyes roll back in your head. <br />
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Sometimes a guy just has to take what he wants. And watching you bend over in front of me at that moment has me wanting to just take you bend you over the kitchen counter and yanking your pants and panties to your ankles. As my hand comes back up it slides between your legs and roughly massages your clit feeling you become wetter and wetter. As I'm doing that my hand is working my pants down. You're resisting saying no because the kids will be walking in any minute. But I just slap your naked ass and say shut up bitch. I'm horny and I want you now. As I grab my cock and stroke it a couple of times I see your hands come to your sides and grip the edge of the counter. As I rub my cock between our legs and line it up with your fuck hole, you push back before I can push towards you. My cock spears your pussy as my hips thrust hard into you. You're not fully wet and we both feel the dry skin on skin and we both wince slightly. Pulling back and shoving forward again and my cock slides in easier. After 10'seconds and a couple more thrusts we are in a good rhythm and fucking hard and furious. In less than two minutes and you cumming hard one final thrust and I shoot my cum into you. Pulling out and pulling my pants up I zip up as I walk out of the kitchen and ask, "what's for dinner tonight" as you hear the front door slam with one kid coming in. <br />
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Pushing you against the wall w/fire in our eyes. Kissing you deeply, passionately and hard on the lips. Biting your bottom lip as my hand softly strokes your cheek. Releasing your lip you breath in deeply as my tongue snakes out and licks your luscious lips. Our bodies pressed tightly against one another. Your nails digging into my shoulder and chest as our eyes close and our lips part for a hair raising toe curling, breath taking, mind numbing, goose bump raising, eye crossing kiss. my hand cups your ass as your leg slides up my waist. Our tongues twist and knot together as out lips are sealed tightly. A soft grunt escapes your throat as my hips thrust against you pinning You tighter against the wall. Your hips grind against me as I lift your body slightly and push you harder against the wall. My fingers digging harder into your thight as I begin to feel your wetness soaking through my pants from your naked exposed pussy. Your dress raises higher exposing your stocking tops. Your heels digs into my ass as your eyes fly open in surprise as your body shudders. A small orgasm escapes causing you to become paralyzed with fear when you realize you're in public. For a split second your mind races but your body takes over telling your mind to fuck off. Your hips buck harder against me as our lips break their bond. My lips find your neck. My teeth find your flesh and nip at you. I bite harder into your shoulder as our dry humping continues. You whisper huskily into my ear... I need your cock now Sir. Fuck me hard please. My eyes lock in yours as a wide evil smile creases my face. Reaching between us I unzip my pants releasing my hard cock and in one quick yet smooth motion bury deeply into your wet cunt as your leg is now over my shoulder. Your hips begin humping doing all the work as our eyes never blink nor break their gaze into one another. Your hard clit grinds against me as you're unable to breath. Your neck reddens. Your chest crimson. Your body tenses but your hips are at a furies pace as your body gets closer and closer and at that exact moment, I sense your impeding orgasm and thrust hard, deep into you. The bricks tear at your flesh as I pin you hard against the wall. Your orgasm starts deep within and explodes out at the exact moment my cock twitches and flexes spilling my hot seed deep inside you. Our lips crash together as we both cum violently together.<br />
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Placing my left hand on the small of your back, my right hand pulls back slightly and quickly comes back to deliver a soft swat to your panty covered ass. Your body lurches forward and you attempt to straighten up but my left hand holds you down. Pulling my right hand back, a little farther this time, swinging it back and swatting a little harder on your right cheek and quickly another to your left cheek. Your hands fly back to cover your ass but I quickly grab them and fold them across your back and wrap my hand around both of your wrists to hold them in place. Hooking my thumb and fingers in the legs of your panties I slide my hand up your ass pinching your panties together and pulling on them, giving you a wedgie of sorts and exposing your Lilly white sweet young ass cheeks to the cool air of the sanctuary in the church. My rough hand softly caresses and admires the smoothness and softness of your skin. My finger tips gently tickling along the edge of the crack of your ass. Pulling my right hand back about 2 feet from your body, it swings back hard and firmly lands on your right ass cheek with a loud audible smack. You yelp and lurch. Your hands clinch into a fist. You gasp, bite down on your bottom lip, stand on your tip toes, your heels slightly off the floor. I softly rub your stinging ass. The welt from the outline of my hand barely noticeable. I feel your body relax slightly and you rock back and stand squarely on the floor. Your breathing a little more audible. Your back heaves slightly. I feel your thighs clench slightly and a smile creases my face knowing your attempting to pinch at your throbbing clit. Your ass stings but your clit and pussy are horny and throbbing. I swat at your thighs letting you know that I know what you're doing. You're back on your toes as you whimper. You shake your legs trying to ease the sting forgetting about your exposed ass. A soft whisper escapes your lips. "Oh please, it stings, please rub it....Sir". My hand clasps your wrists tightly. Your breathing is labored. My right hand pulls back and with a swift strike, my palm lands square with your left cheek. Your tight ass ripples. Your hips buck hard against the pew. You yelp loudly. Your body rests fully on the pew now as your feet kick and you begin to cry out slightly. <br />
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Softly rubbing your ass and admiring the welt outline of my hand I begin to feel the hear radiating from your skin. Slowly you relax until your feet are back on the floor but I still feel the tension in your body in anticipation of another swat.<br />
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Standing you up you smooth your skirt down. A single tear forms in your eyes and quickly falls down your cheek. I catch it with my finger before it drops off your chin and as I'm looking you in the eye I lick it from my finger.<br />
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A small yet evil smile creases my face I look into your eyes. Your bottom lip is sucked on and I see your teeth digging into your flesh as you stand before me. Apprehensive yet excited your mind races wondering what could be next. Your face becomes flush as you notice my eyes darting to the front of the church.<br />
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Shall we go kneel at the altar in the front of the church?<br />
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Stocking covered legs and stiletto shoes on my shoulders and my fingers dig into your thighs with my hips slapping your ass as I thrust deep. The curve in my cock has me brushing your g-spot with every hard thrust. Your nails dig into the sheets as my hands pin your wrists down. Your head rolls to the side as I continue my assault on your wet pussy with my throbbing cock. Your body quakes as another orgasm rocks you. One final thrust deep into you, my cock pulses emptying my seed deep in you. Strong powerful spurts splash your walls. Your pussy milks me. The only sounds are those of our heavy breathing and animalistic groans from me mixed with your moans of pleasure.<br />
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Baby this is a morning I wish I was spooned up behind you, our legs bent slightly. One arm under your neck with your back pushed back against my chest. Low enough on my body that my chin rests above your head. My other arm draped over your hip and resting just below your belly button. Your fingers laced with both my hands. Our body's molded as one. Both of us in a deep peaceful slumber. Bending my head down to softly kiss your neck and wake you as my hand gently rubs up and down your beautiful body. Thrusting my hips forward grinding my hardness into you as my hand palms your supple breast as I kiss more on your neck and shoulder. My large cock head getting wet as it thrust between your thighs. My fingers gently pinching your nipples. Your hand grabbing me by the back of my neck digging your nails in as I bite into your shoulder. You throw your top leg over me as my hand makes it way down your body inviting me to feel your wetness with my fingers. My fingers dancing on your clit. Your head turns to kiss me from behind. Sucking my tongue in as my finger pushes between the folds of your wet swollen lips. Your hips rotating allowing my thick cock to penetrate your wet fuck hole. Our kiss never breaking. My finger pushes on your clit as my hips thrust my cock deeper in you. Your other hand squeezes mine tightly as it is still under your head. Your body shudders and tightens as your orgasm takes over. Your juices flood my cock and balls. I push deeper still. My hand digging into your hip now holding on. Your pussy spasms around my shaft. Pulling my arm from under you I push your shoulders bending you at the waist. Still laying on our sides I start thrusting into you, my cock assaulting your quivering pussy. Your top arm on my hips feeling my thrust. Your other hand palming your breast and pinching your nipple as your moans have turned to whimpers. My thrusts becoming harder and shorter. My hips bouncing on your ass. My cock swells. And with one final thrust I push deep into you and release my hot cum deep inside you. My cock throbs and pulses as thick cum fills you up. <br />
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Pinning her against the wall with a handful of her hair in my hand. Pulling her hair to raise her chin and expose her neck. I gently lick First then follow with a slight nip of my teeth. Seeing her bite her bottom lip I thrust my knee between her legs to give her something to Hump on as I bite just below her ear. A whimper escapes her lips as her hands claw at the wall. She stands on her tip toes while my knee Pushes her up the wall. I gently kiss her ear while I growl. A moan escapes. Her humping increases. Her breaths are labored. Turning her Head towards my lips her eyes open and her hands grab my face as we kiss with such passion. My hand wraps around her throat as She moans and whimpers into my mouth yet again. Our tongues dancing together. Her eyes roll back as her first orgasm of the night rocks her<br />
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I'd love to bend you over your desk at work. Hike your skirt up and pull your panties to the side. Your hands fight me trying to stop me but I grab both of your wrists in my hand and pin them to the small of your back. My free hand starts rubbing your clit feeling your wetness then slowly snaking my finger into your dripping wet cunt. Hearing you moan I push a second finger into your tight cunt. Pulling my cock out of my dress slacks I stand behind you and in one quick thrust I bottom out inside your tight cunt. Pounding away hard, you cover your mouth to keep from moaning out loud. You have me so turned on that in no time my cock swells and splashes my hot seed deep inside you. Your body slams back against me in orgasm when you feel me cum deep in you. Pushing yourself off the desk you fall to your knees in front of me and like the good slut you are for daddy you suck and clean my cock with your whore mouth making sure to not miss a drop. <br />
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Pushing you against the wall, my hand slowly and softly walks up your side while my lips kiss the softness of your skin. Your hands flat against the wall, your head falling forward in an attempt to kiss me. I pull my face away from your shoulder and as I make. Eye contact my left hand swiftly comes up and wraps around your throat and pushes back against the wall. My right knee is between your legs. Squeezing firmly and pushing your throat back I lean forward and forcefully press my lips to yours. Sucking your bottom lip in I bite down. Your eyes filled with a lustful fire. You whimper softly. Your body attempts to slide down the wall in order to grind your throbbing clit on my knee. I lift you up by the neck as I release your lip but also bring my knee up into your wet pussy.<br />
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Sneaking up behind you as you walk down the hallway and grabbing you with one hand holing your arms from behind while my other hand covers your mouth to muffle your screams. Quickly pushing the nearest door open I pull you in with me. My hand tightening around your arms to let you know you can not get away from my strong grip. I growl into your ear to let you know who it is and instantly I feel your body loosen a little. But my grip is still firm on your arms as my hand uncovers your mouth. In a soft whisper you tell no as you are at work and are afraid of getting caught. My free hand snakes under your skirt as I bite into your neck. Hooking my thumb in your panties I begin to pull then down. You step out of then leaving them balled up at your feet. Shoving your chest into the table bending you at the waist. I reach down and grab your panties and holding them to my nose as I breath in your scent. Your head turns slightly trying to face me but I only push harder into your back. Wadding your panties in my fist I quickly push them to your face and command that you open your mouth. You reluctantly comply but before a word escapes you lips I push the panties past your lip stick lips and into your mouth. While I am stuffing your dirty wet panties into your mouth, my hard cock grinds into you from behind your body relaxes slightly as I grind harder into the crack of your ass. Pulling your skirt up I free my hard cock from my pants and in a swift motion my cock spears your wet pussy from behind. You try to moan only to have your moans muffled by your panties. A couple of pushes later and I'm buried to the hilt in your hot wet pussy. I start slamming into you hard, your ass ripples as my thighs bounce on you. Our skin making slapping noises. I push down your head mashing it into the table. Your face reddens as the first orgasm courses through your body. Followed by a second and third. Your legs give out and the table supports your body. Your body goes limp as I continue to thrust deeply into you and with one final hard thrust my hips push deep into your pussy and my hot seed shoots from my cock deep inside you. My soft cocks slips from your pussy and a big drop of cum falls from your pussy lips and lands with an audible drip on the floor between your legs. I smack your ass hard one time with my hand. Stepping back as I button and zip my pants I admire the red out line my hand on your ass as the welt begins to show. I turn to walk out of the room, but before opening the door I whisper over my shoulder, "see you tonight slut". <br />
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<slapping face="" your="">. Open your mouth slut and suck this cock. As you struggle my precum coats your lips as I try to pry them open with my cock head. Grabbing a handful of hair I snap your head back as I step forward planting my sweaty and musky smelling nuts right on those full red lips. </slapping><br />
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Sniff those nuts slut. Breath them in.<br />
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My cock bobs right above your eyes as they cross trying to look at the glistening cock head. Your hands wrap around my calves. Your nails digging into my flesh as the oxygen is cut off to your lungs. Jerking your head away your lipstick is smeared from your lips as they fly open to gasp for air. Before they can close I shove my cock into your mouth. My cock head presses your tongue down as I push deeper and deeper. My hand gripping your hair while my other hand goes behind your neck pulling your face into my crotch as my hips push forward.<br />
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Your throat spasms as you gag. Your belly and chest heaves as your cough and spit flies out your nose and corners of your mouth covering my crotch. A long thick heavy string of your spit falls from your chin to your dress and down between your tits as a low growling laugh escapes my lips.<br />
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Look at you now little miss pretty sexytary. Drooling all over my cock like a good cock sucking whore.<br />
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I love destroying that pretty little make up covered face. Your spit coats my balls as you continue to cough and gag and heave around my thick shaft stretching your jaw and throat open. Your spit literally drips off my balls soaking the front of your dress. Your mascara and eye liner streak down your face as my cock makes squishy noises with your lips and mouth as I continue to pound your fuckable lips. Your hair wound tightly in my hand threatens to pull your scalp from your skull. Instead your hands grip my ass and pull me deeper each time I thrust forward. Eventually your throat and mouth surrender to me knowing that their place is to be a hole for me to fuck. Now to have your mind and body to follow.<br />
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As I bite into the flesh of your shoulder, my right hand wraps firmly around your throat. My left hand dances across your soft skin. A sharp intake of breath by you is quickly cut off as I squeeze your throat tighter. My left hand now moves to feel your lace panties. My teeth tugging on your flesh as my left fingers slip under your panties. My grip on your throat softens slightly allowing you to breath in. Finding your clit, my fingers dance softly in your wetness. Your hands reach for my wrists. A moan escapes your lips. Your body presses Tightly against me. Your heels click on the tile as you spread your legs wider inviting me to explore more. The touch of my fingers on your clit are so soft, you almost don't feel it, yet the electricity from my fingers electrifies your clit. The muscles in your stomach tense. Your lungs paralyzed and unable to suck in air. Your nails dig into my wrists. Your head presses tightly into my shoulder.And at that moment. Your juices flood from you, a moan so loud escapes from your lips that it has dead bodies around the world convulsing in orgasm. Your body shudders. Your teeth clenched. Your hair tingles. Your toes curl in your shoes. Every muscle in your body convulses. After the orgasm subsides, your body goes limp in my arms. I scoop you up and carry you off to bed and as I lay your head on the pillow... You softly whisper through your lips,<br />
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"Thank you Daddy, may I have another" and then a very wide evil grin spreads across your face<br />
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I could tell you about wanting to kiss you deeply while my hand is between your legs feeling your wetness. My fingers dancing around your clit and your hands clawing at my head trying to suck my tongue in deeper<br />
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Biting on your neck as I slip my middle finger into your hole. Hooking it to massage your g spot. Your nails clawing at my arm. You're biting your bottom lip to keep from screaming. Now slipping a second finger in. My palm presses against your clit as my fingers push on your g spot. My mouth finds your nipple and gently nibbles it. You're so wet that my fingers make squishy sounds as I continue massaging your g spot. You're breathing is labored. You whisper into my ear "may I cum Sir". I don't respond. I piston my fingers faster. I bite on your nipple. A groan escapes your chest. You whisper again "please Sir, may I cum" followed by a whimper. I kiss your neck then nibble your ear before in a husky growl I say, "you may pet. Cum all over my fingers".<br />
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<br />Strictnstern4uhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851596447579005429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301381998826939170.post-57537795848211748982014-06-04T13:57:00.003-04:002014-06-04T13:57:59.620-04:00WOMEN!!!!!!!Want to know what really bugs me? Women. They irritate the fuck out of me. Not sometimes but all the time. YES, all the god damn time. But I just can not give them up. Women are like a bad habit, probably the hardest for men to give up. It would probably be easier for men who smoke to give up smoking instead of women. I have always known food to be my weakness. But women are by far the greatest weakness that I have. I just can not get enough of them. Their beauty, their charm, their wit… just can not do it. And THAT’S why the irritate me to no end.
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I have been separated and divorced from my second wife now for 2 and half years. I have had one steady relationship with a woman that lasted 5 months. Before and since, I have not be able to muster anything longer than 3 or 4 dates with a woman. Some have been positive and fun but for what ever reason we just stopped dating. But for every one that I have had an actual date with, there have been 7 or 8 who completely flake out before even the first date. We will chat, text, flirt and have some great conversations, but then bam, no more. I have yet to figure out where I am going wrong, IF I am going wrong. Fuck it isn’t ALL me, but I am still kicking myself trying to figure out where it took the wrong turn.<br />
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The latest was a woman whom I met on a dating site. (hell I have met 99% of the women I have gone out on dates through a dating site, even my ex wife) Things were going good, great banter, similar likes and dislikes. We exchanged numbers and texted some. I tried calling a couple of times but no answer. After a day of texting and a night of sleep, bam, she was gone. Will not return a text if my life depended on it. I have no clue what the hell happened. At this point, I really don’t care. Not saying I am numb or immune to it, but after a while, you do realize whats the point of being upset. If she lost interest this quickly, is that someone worth chasing and spending time with? <br />
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For the past year I have said that social media and texting have ruined dating. 20 years ago, if you wanted to date someone of the opposite sex, you actually had to talk ON the phone with them or meet up with them at a local spot. We didn’t have dating sites, social media places or apps on our phone. We actually had to meet someone out in public being at the mall or an event or a party or through a friend. Hell I remember meeting a chic in the parking lot of the local mall one Friday night. A buddy and I were walking to my car when her and her friend drove by. We both made comment on how hot they were as they drove by and obviously they heard us because they circled around and stopped for a chat. A couple of hours later (sometime around midnight because the cops ran us off) I had her number and a date lined out. Seems back then I could more dates than I do now. I guess as I am getting older, my game is slipping. Fast forward 20 years and I am struggling to get a woman to have a follow up conversation with me the next day after we both go to sleep and a day at work. WOMEN!!!! <br />
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Whether it’s the men are from Mars thing or monthly visitor, or man hating or whatever their crutch for the day is against men, it is an ongoing cycle. Women say they want a man who is sensitive and caring and willing to walk grandma across the road while singing Luke Bryan and painting stars in the sky while driving a truck and running his fingers through her hair yet what do women do for us in return besides irritating the fuck out of us? NOT A GOD DAMN THING!! Women are always gimmie gimmie gimmie and when a guy asks for something in return we are blasted and degraded and accused of being pigs. Damn honey, I just asked for a response to my 14 million hellos trying to figure out why the fuck you stopped talking to me. Is that too much to ask?<br />
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Like I said, texting and social media has ruined it for us. You can carry on as many conversations through text and private messaging that you can keep up with. The second you go to sleep or head to work or hell, take 10 minutes for a shower, another 10 guys swoop in and you are nothing but a voice in the wind being carried far far away. <br />
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Don’t sit there and accuse a man of being a player and uncommitted to a woman when you yourself are just as guilty as we are. I would be lying if I said I am free of guilty from carrying on multiple conversations at once because I have, do now and probably will in the future. But if I have a true and genuine interest in you, I will let it be known. I am not in the business of playing with emotions and cutting open hearts. I am in the business of finding that one lady who will lasso my soul, massage my heart and fuck my mind until the end of time. Until she comes along, I suppose I will still be irritated by women, fuck I am sure I will still be irritated by her even after that, but at least it will be ONE woman and not the entire clan of women. <br />
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I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.<br />
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Strictnstern4uhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851596447579005429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301381998826939170.post-51100492755437062012013-11-11T09:10:00.001-05:002013-11-11T09:10:15.284-05:00This past yearAs I reflect back on the past 12 months, there has been a lot of change in my life. For the first time in a long time, I had a great year. I did have some downs, but the ups FAR out weigh the downs. To compare my ups, if there were a BCS poll for my year, I would rank it in the top five of all time. A year ago, I celebrated my 40th birthday. My best friends took me to a great restaurant followed by my first trip to a casino. 4 pitchers of mojitos, down 100 dollars at the casino, the night ended with a bang and a damn good celebration.
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I reflected on the first 40 years of my life and although it seems as if it has flown by, I still thought to myself that I have accomplished, experienced and enjoyed the first 40 years of my life. I sure hope that I have 40 more in me, and that the next 40 years are filled with fun, joy, pleasure, pain, heart ache, triumph, victory, laughter, tears, etc as much , if not more than the first 40. I am still young, and still have many things left that I want to experience. <br />
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They say the way you spend your new years eve is what your year will be like. Well, I spent time with friends partying it up on new years, so what have I been doing this whole year? Yep, you guessed it, having a good ole time, hanging with friends, taking trips, exploring and having a grand ole time. There really hasn’t been much of a dull moment this past year. To say I have had fun is an under statement since I have had a great time.<br />
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I took a trip to California this past May to visit some new friends. The first cross country trip by myself since high school. Although, when I went cross country in high school, I was still visiting family. This time though, it was to meet some new friends, new in a sense that I had never met them before. In the coming weeks I will blog about that trip. Even though that trip was 6 months ago, I still remember it like it was last week. That is how much fun I did have.<br />
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In June I started dating a beautiful lady (yes, she knows about my alternative lifestyle, reads my blog AND follows me on twitter) and to say the least, she does make me smile, feel good and has put some pep in my step, not to mention inflate my already over inflated ego. Damn, did you feel that? I think the earth just shifted from everyone rolling their eyes at the same time at me and my ego. HA, get over it. It is MY ego and NOT yours. I do love her and everything she is, not to mention she calls me Daddy. SCHWING!!!!!!!<br />
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This past year has started a new chapter in my life. Last year, at midnight of my 40th birthday, I took 8 shots of bourbon. One for my birthday, 6 for the past 6 years of a marriage that ended up failing and one final one for my future. I drank to the present, the past and my future. A future that is uncertain, but looks good so far. <br />
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In closing, life is what YOU make of it. Do you want to sit around, sulk, feel sorry for yourself? Then by all means, you go ahead and do that. Or do you want to get up, do what YOU want and enjoy what life has to offer? Then lets go, I am driving and we are going to enjoy ourselves and experience what ever is out there for us. I know that’s what I am going to do. Strictnstern4uhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851596447579005429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301381998826939170.post-7823199710673571922013-05-08T22:03:00.000-04:002013-05-08T22:03:10.575-04:00Suicide<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976562); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: none; font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;">Back in December my life took a sever downward spiral. So sever that I did make an attempt to end it by my own hands. I've always said I've never been afraid of death. And that day I was not afraid to go through with what I felt I needed, no, wanted to do. (Wow this is hard). There are something's that... I can't even put it into words. I just can't. </span></span><div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.09375); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-text-size-adjust: none; font-family: MarkerFelt-Thin; font-size: 18px; line-height: 24px;">
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A year ago this last January I lost a friend to suicide. He just went through a nasty divorce and I thought he was on a better path in life. His kids still loved him. His company was thriving. Even met a wonderful woman who I thought was worlds better than his previous wife. I saw him before Christmas and the world was his to conquer. I know because he told me so. He and I made plans to play golf that coming spring and even started talking about taking a week and playing golf in Alabama on the Bobby Jones trail. </div>
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Christmas comes and I see his oldest posting pictures in Facebook of his new mustang that dad bought him for Xmas. His 3 daughters received matching charm bracelets. For New Years he took his kids and new girlfriend to Hawaii and rang in the new year on the beach. </div>
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I was driving back to my office from lunch a couple of weeks later when I was sitting at a red light and thought I'd jump on twitter. I saw a hash tag that said prayfor.... When I clicked on it to check it out I started seeing all of these "thinking of you" and "praying for you" comments. I immediately started texting a couple of people and the immediate response I got was my friend who was just recently happy and doing good had decided to end his own life. I really don't remember much more of that day and even reliving this, I feel that same numb and light headed feeling coming over me. </div>
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I went to the funeral and it was difficult to say the least. Seeing his kids I did my best to keep it together. Looking at his son who I had coached when he was younger in baseball and football I had all these emotions come flooding back into me and my soul that for so long I had done my best to keep locked and hidden away. I could see these same emotions in him. I went straight to him, fuck standing in a line for my turn. I went straight to him and hugged him as hard as I could. He hugged me back just as hard and began to flood my shirt with his tears. His oldest sister came to me and hugged me at the waist while I was doing my best to keep from losing it. When I opened my eyes most of the people had their eyes on us with enough tears to float a navy. </div>
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I spent that following weekend with his son. He and I tossing a baseball and chatting about his dad. The question that was asked the most was "Why?" I had no answers. All I had was don't think about the why. Remember the good times you had. The fishing trips. The golf outings. The vacations and burning the clutch up in the car learning how to drive. I remember taking my buddy to pick his car up at the dealership after it was repaired and laughing at how much the repair bill was. I even commented, I wish I could laugh at spending that kind of money at fixing something. That weekend was one of healing for us both. And I know his son came away a stronger and more compassionate young man. </div>
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Come December, he was one of the memories that flashed through my mind when I was staring at what I thought was going to be the end of my life. I wonder if he stepped in and helped out a stop to it. When I think back to that day he ended his life I wonder if he had the same thoughts as me. Not thoughts of am I sure I want to go through with this or who will find me etc. but the thoughts of why has my life come to this? </div>
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I spent several weeks in rehab. And daily visits from a shrink. One thing that he kept asking me is will I try to harm myself again? I finally came to the conclusion that my answer didn't really matter to him. He wanted me to think back to what I tried to do and promise myself to no relive that pain and hurt and come away with a sense that my life does matter and that life does in fact move on. At some point you have to shit or get off the pot sort of speak. </div>
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So I stopped wallowing on self pity. I stopped feeling sorry for myself and playing the whoa is me bullshit. And I decided that I am going to live life for me. I'm not really a mean or a bad person, but mark my words. Any fucker that tries to come between me and the life ahead of me in an attempt to hold me down and prevent me from doing what I want to do is going to get chewed up. I won't spit them back out because there will not be anything left of them when I'm done. Don't believe me? Try me. I will NOT be held responsible for what happens. </div>
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Bottom line is this. Life will move on. With or with out you is your choice. Then, I didn't care. Now, I'm going to own my life and make life MY BITCH!!!</div>
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I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears. </div>
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Strictnstern4uhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851596447579005429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301381998826939170.post-40998703479295254362013-05-08T21:59:00.001-04:002013-05-08T22:01:11.405-04:00New post<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I haven’t blogged in sometime, and recently I have wanted to, but I have either been a little busy with work, or when the time comes, I just stare at a blank page with no thoughts in my mind. So much has transpired since I last wrote on my blog that I wouldn’t know where to begin to tell you about any of it. Hopefully this will be the first of many posts to come in the future, and at various times and through other posts, I can let you know what is going on and what has happened in my life. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Probably the most significant change in my life is the divorce I went through. My divorce was final at the end of October in 2012. I closed out that chapter in my life by celebrating my 40<sup>th</sup> birthday with 4 of my closest (only) friends. That weekend was filled with laughter, tears, good times and some heart ache. That weekend I took sometime to reflect back on all that I have done in my first 40 years. While life seems to move at a fast pace leaving us to wonder many times “where has time gone?”, I also realized that I have done, fulfilled and lived quite a bit. But I also know that I have so much more in life that I want to see, do and accomplish. So, I hope I have at least another 30 years in me, because I plan on using every moment I have to the fullest extent to complete my life.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 17px;">So here I am now in my life and I have come to realize that most everything in life is trivial and really doesn't matter a week from now. Don't get me wrong, I still believe in what you do today affects your tomorrow and your yesterday influenced today. So I plan on doing more for me and less for others. I will still do for others and be there for my friends when they need me. Hell even when they don't need me I will be there. What I mean is I'm going to start on the things that I want to accomplish in my next 30 years. I've always thought that I had to be with someone to be able to do anything and being alone meant I wasn't allowed to do anything. Well I've come to realize that's bull shit. No more. Next time you see someone eating alone in a restaurant or sitting alone in a theater, stop and think before you feel sorry for them. Just maybe that person is happy being alone. I know I am. Now I'm still searching for the one. And she could just be around the corner. But until I meet her I'm still going to do for me. I just hope she is willing to ride along with me. </span><br />
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With that said I am going to end my first post in sometime. I have a thought on the next one and I'm going to start gathering my thoughts. It's going to be hard writing that one. Maybe the hardest I've written. </div>
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</span>Strictnstern4uhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851596447579005429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301381998826939170.post-70641780619241723312012-10-24T08:45:00.002-04:002012-10-24T08:45:35.617-04:00Honesty & RealitySo here I am, with a blank writing canvas to once again try and come up with something to blog about. I have so many thoughts in my head that I just can not get them out and on paper. The words are so jumbled, and so scattered. I can see them when I close my eyes. This past weekend, I was having a conversation with someone. I could see in their eyes that she had so many questions to ask. Finally I told her to close her eyes, and to reach out with her hand into that swirling bowl of questions and grab one. Pull it back to herself and read it to me from the palm of her hand. That seemed to work for her because the next hour or so was a question and answer session.
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So, here I am, eyes closed and reaching out with my hand to grab one of those topics swirling around my blog bowl. And what have I come up with? Absolutely nothing. FUCK!!!! <br />
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Well, I lied, I did come up with something. LOL. Let’s talk about reality and honesty. Shall we? <putting mr.="mr." on="on" rogers="rogers" sweater="sweater"> </putting><br />
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Honesty is something we all say we appreciate, respect, expect, deserve and give. But how many of us really are honest? Honest not just with others, but also with ourselves? One thing I have come to realize over the past few years with myself is that not only am I going to be honest, brutally at times, but I am also a realist. How much more honest can you be that looking at reality and what is in front of you? I say that because over the last few weeks have been on a lot of dates. Some of them were vanilla dates, some of them have been kink dates. And the one thing that STILL amazes me is how people can not handle honesty. If I do not feel a connection from you in the first 5 minutes, I very seriously doubt I will feel one ever with you. I have had one occasion in my entire life, which was a few weeks ago, where after I met this young lady, before we ever went in to the restaurant, I looked at here and said, “I just don’t feel anything and I get the impression you’re not interested either. So why waste time sitting through a dinner where we both will be uncomfortable and just go ahead and go our separate ways now?” The next thing out of her mouth was berating me for being rude and selfish. I was like really? Reality told us that there was no attraction there. Honesty got me cursed. I just love honesty. I told her to pull her big girl panties up and move on to the next guy. <br />
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I am not the best looking guy out there, nor am I the worse looking guy out there. But the realist in me tells me who I have a chance with and who I don’t. You know what I am talking about. See a good looking guy or gal, and I mean GOOD LOOKING!!! How many of you say, “Yea, I don’t have a chance?” Many of you do. OKOK, I hear some of you saying, not me, I have a chance. LOVE your confidence. Go for it. Can I get a date with the hot women who are saying this? <crickets> Yea, that’s what I thought. LOL. </crickets><br />
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Reality and honesty are one in the same. But they are also different. I try not to confuse the two, nor do I always mix the two. But many times they are the same and mix together quite well. <br />
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Just the other day, I had met a vanilla chic, one who I later discovered was very freaky and kinky. We seemed to click and hit it off ok. Turns out she works for a friend of mine. She asked her boss about me, her boss gave me a glowing report, even called me a saint. No seriously, she did call me a saint. Damn do I have her fooled. I mean, me a saint? Not hardly. But that’s another topic I will get to some day. Anyhow, for her birthday, I took her to breakfast and to a movie. NO she did not spend the night before breakfast. Anyhow, we spent the afternoon together, chatted a lot, laughed more and even played around. Nothing serious, in fact we both kept our clothes on. She was telling me about some things that were bothering her and me being the honest one, I gave her my HONEST opinion. Naturally she agreed with most, disagreed with some and even thanked me for being honest. She said more people should be like me and there should be less people who tell you what you want to hear. At the end of the day, my honesty also told her that while I was interested in her, there were personal things in her life that were causing me to keep her at arms length and would continue to do so until they were corrected. Because in reality, I do not deal with bull shit and drama too well. And that honesty even cost me a friendship and got me another negative response. WHAT THE FUCK is it with people who say they want honesty, but lash out at you when you give it to them? Make up your fucking mind people.<br />
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In closing, I will say this. I have told lies in the past. I am sure there will be lies in the future. I do not want to lie. I will always do my damndest to be honest. After all, reality tells us that lies will make a problem for you in the future, but honesty will make that problem a thing of the past. Stay honest, be real and above all else, be yourself.<br />
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Me<br />
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<em>I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.</em> <br />
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Strictnstern4uhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851596447579005429noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301381998826939170.post-88265548460906913872012-06-05T21:27:00.001-04:002012-06-05T21:27:16.812-04:00Hello all.
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lately I have been trying to come up with a topic to blog
about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately I am still unable
to come up with anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have been
itching lately to blog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So here I sit
and not one damn thing comes to mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Today I was on twitter and someone I follow stated they were
going to hell and driving the bus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
asked who wanted to hop on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I stated I wasn’t
allowed in hell, because they are afraid I will take over.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well that is true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean I am so screwed up in the head who
would want me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ya know?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Recently I took the Meyers Briggs test and I scored an
ENFJ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here is a link to what it says
about me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What’s funny, even scary is,
ITS ALL FUCKING TRUE!!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><a href="http://typelogic.com/enfj.html"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Calibri;">http://typelogic.com/enfj.html</span></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am compared to people such as Abraham
Lincoln, Peyton Manning, Craig T Nelson and Sean Connery.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, that Sean Connery, the sexiest man
alive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So FUCK YES, I am like the
sexiest man alive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least on the
inside.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I just read back through some old post.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I laughed, even shed a few tears.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One thing is my mind is still cloudy, hence
why it is hard for me to find a subject and write about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Could someone (preferably female with nice
tig bitties and who smells good) come blow in my ear and just maybe blow this
cloud out my other ear that has my mind so foggy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean I can’t even focus to write something
smart ass, or inspiring or even seductive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>HOLY SHIT!!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Am I getting old and
already losing mental capacity?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Quick,
someone show me your tits.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>NOT YOU
FUCKTARD, I don’t want to see any man boobs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>WOMAN BOOBS!!!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">A few months ago I met someone from twitter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was strictly vanilla.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, not strictly, I mentioned tying her
hands up and she did wink at me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, I
mentioned this blog and encouraged her to go read it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>HUGE FUCKING MISTAKE.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I make a stupid mistake by giving her the web
address to it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, obviously she didn’t
appreciate my openness and honesty because she bolted to never speak
again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, she did return a text about
a month later when I said hi and happy mom’s day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then I got the standard line of, “you scare
me” and “sorry, not interested anymore, I am seeing someone”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><tossing before”="" coin="" heard="" in="" jar.<span="" style="mso-spacerun: yes;" that="" “i’ve=""> I wonder if I have enough for that
cruise around the world yet.</tossing></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I suppose one thing that has stayed constant with me is who
I am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t try to make myself out to be someone
I am not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And to a fault, I am brutally
honest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have turned a few people away
with my honesty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you cannot handle
it, the tough shit, you’re not for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Easy as that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I might stretch the
truth, maybe manipulate or twist things, but in the end I am honest about
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I always seem to chuckle and laugh
at the ones who cannot handle honesty, especially from me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sorry, run along fragile ego one who has
always been lied to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am going to stop here and post this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe even link it to twitter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thanks to everyone who still reads this blog,
if there are any of you that still do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Otherwise,
I will continue to talk to the voices in my head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m thinking of taking them on the road and
hitting some comedy clubs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Surely there
is someone out there who will laugh at them besides me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Me</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><em>I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.</em></span></div>
Strictnstern4uhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851596447579005429noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301381998826939170.post-66022594174415493372012-03-09T07:50:00.001-05:002012-03-09T07:52:36.884-05:00My grandmotherThe last 6 months of my life have been one giant downhill. Having a pet put to sleep, divorce, issues at work and now a death in the family. Yesterday I found out my grandmother passed away. While she was in her 80’s and her death was expected, it is still hard to deal with death. I know I have seen more than my fair share in life. My step father passed away when I was 12, a sister passed away when I was 16. My grandfather passed away a week after my first marriage. My mom passed away in ’04 and now my grandmother. Not to mention other friends through out my life. High school classmate passed during my senior year, 3 more the year after I graduated plus countless others throughout my life time. <br /><br />Last night I went to bed thinking about my grandmother. I can remember being a youngin and hearing her fuss at my uncles about them picking on me. I remember her taking me to swim lessons when I was 5 years old. How she begged my mom to get me to take piano lessons (which now, I wish had taken those lessons. Nothing is as soothing or as moving as hearing a piano being played.) I remember spending my summers at my grandmothers. She would take me swimming at the apartments where she lived, she would sit on the edge of the pool with her legs in the water and when I was 5, I would hold onto her legs and she would bounce me up and down in the water. <br /><br />One memory that stands out the most is when I was about 10 or 11; I was at her apartment’s one summer night playing hide and seek with other kids. I came running around a corner and this lady had a German Sheppard that came running at me and bit me a few times. I ran home and told my grandmother about it. She marched herself over to this ladies apartment that owned the dog and proceeded to just “lay” into her about the dog. At 4’9” tall, my grandmother sure was a firecracker. <br /><br />Here is a funny story. Who remembers cabbage patch dolls? Who HAD a cabbage patch doll? LOL. Well the one year that were super popular, what 83 or 84, and they were scarce, my mom wanted to get my sister one so bad for Christmas. Back then there were no Wal-Mart’s that were open all night. In fact the only thing open all night was a Super X drugstore. Even the grocery store closed at midnight. So this particular night grandmother was out doing her shopping because they only had one car and my grandfather was a traveling insurance salesman, she went into Super X and they were stocking cabbage patch dolls on the shelves. I remember my mom answering the phone and basically screaming into the phone yes to get the doll. Hell get 2 of them. The next day I am over at my grandmothers and she isn’t feeling to well, so I ask what’s wrong. Well come to find out my SHORT grandmother couldn’t reach the top of the shelf so she tried to “climb” the display and fell off, topping all of these cabbage patch dolls on her. I don’t know what came of all that, but I do remember how my uncles made fun of her. I am sure this story will be told this weekend and many many laughs will be shared about this. <br /><br />My grandmother was sneaky. My oldest uncle worked at a grocery store during high school and college. So often times he would come home with his own food and keep it hidden in his bed room. My uncle has a thing for Little Debbie snack cakes, particular Swiss Cake Rolls. So, when my uncle would be at work or at school, grandmother would sneak into his room and steal a Swiss Cake Roll. Well then I would want one, so she would steal another. This always pissed my uncle off. Hmm, in fact to this day maybe that’s why he has such anger issues. LOL. <br /><br />Another funny story. One year for my grandmother’s birthday, mom, sister and I took her to Red Lobster. Grandmother LOVED Red Lobster so it was an annual thing for a long long time to take her there. Lets see, this particular story was probably late ‘90’s nothing unusual about this particular birthday. Grandmother stealing sips of mom’s vodka cranberries or a bite off someone’s plate to sample what the others got. However, when it we were done eating grandmother pulled out her oversized bag and proceeded to pull out empty yogurt cups with lids and proceeded to empty everyone’s plate. If I had a forkful of rice left, grandmother scooped it up. NOTHING went to waste with my grandmother. Not only was she frugal but a hoarder. She literally had hundreds of these yogurt cups at her house. HUNDREDS!!!! My sister and I laughed at her. And grandmother simply replied in her grandmotherly way, “All of these left over are will make a wonderful snack later.” She took the one remaining AND half eaten cheddar biscuit and even polished off the last two drops of the vodka cranberry. I asked grandmother if she wanted the sweetnlow and sugar from the table and she replied sure. I said hell, why not and tossed the mini corona bottles used as salt and pepper shakers into her bag too. When the waitress came to clean the table, all she would find is 4 empty classes and 4 clean plates. Grandmother didn’t waste anything. LOL In fact, to this day, I still have those salt and pepper shakers and I use them. <br /><br />3 things I can thank my grandmother for. My love and affection of yogurt, fig Newton’s and no bake cookies. Last night, when I got home, my dinner consisted of 2 cups of yogurt, a banana and fig Newton’s. All in honor of my grandmother. This weekend at some point I plan on making home made no bake cookies. <br /><br />There are so many stories I could tell about my grandmother. Most of them funny since she has and always will be the highlight of growing up. I could always turn to my grandmother for advice, or help in some way. She took me in when I was going through my first divorce and for 2 years I lived with her. She would cook and do laundry. I would grocery shop and take care of the house. Sometimes we butted heads when she found out I snuck a girl in the back door to spend the night or if I bought the wrong item at the store. But one thing was certain through out my 39 years of life. Grandmother was always there. And her infinite wisdom always won out over anything. <br /><br />I haven’t seen my grandmother in a few years, but we spoke often on the phone. My only regret is not being there for her yesterday when she took her final breath and left this world. But I have comfort in my heart and soul knowing that she is now reunited not only with all her friends but her family as well in heaven. She is once again hand in hand with my grand father and reunited with her only daughter, my mother in heaven. The last time I spoke with my grandmother, back in January, I ended the phone call with the same words I have been saying to her ever since I was able to mutter these words and I will end this with those same words.<br /><br />I love you grandmother.<br /><br />MeStrictnstern4uhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851596447579005429noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301381998826939170.post-90258601658155363182012-02-28T13:35:00.000-05:002012-02-28T13:36:54.254-05:00Are your friends being chosen for you?So recently I have been very active on twitter. If you want to follow me, I am @Strictnstern4u. Make sure if you follow me to say hi and you read my blog. Anyhow, back to my thought after my shameless plug for twitter. Recently something has transpired that irks me to the core. Collared submissives that must get the blessing of their Dom to speak, or interact with another. Now, before you start giving me shit about this, I DO respect a collar and that relationship and in no way am I writing about it here now to trash someone’s collar. <br /><br />If you are a submissive and you are collared to a Dom, great for you. I wish you 2 the best. What I want to talk about is the fact that he/she chooses who you can and can not converse or communicate with. If that’s the case, then are you still a submissive or are you now a slave since you are now giving up the right of who you can and can not communicate with? If that is the case, good for you, however, if it is not, then I think there is a serious underlying issue at hand.<br /><br />One, is there something he is hiding? Besides you that is. To me it is a red flag being run of the ole flag pole when your friends are being chosen for you. In my opinion I feel he/she is hiding something from you. If there is complete trust, why should he be the one to pick and choose? <br /><br />What brings this up is recently I gained a follower. I noticed it was a sub in the lifestyle, so I just did a common thing and went to follow this person back. Only that they have their account private and thus you must be approved to be a follower. Ok. No problem. One of two things came to mind immediately. Either they are trying to remain private and discrete and prevent someone from their vanilla world from finding them (totally different subject matter, I blogged about this before, just remember, if they come looking for the lifestyle and they find you, why fear of being outted? They will out themselves too. Just an observation.) Or, they are being told who you can and can not communicate with. <br /><br />Another instance was discovered today. Someone whom I was following, had a few conversations with via twitter about bdsm related items and subjects is no longer following me AND has now blocked me. Why? I am not sure. Do I care? Yes and no. Yes I do, because she did express to me she was in a quandary. No, because obviously, and this is my opinion, their Dom feels threatened by me in some way. If this is the case, then grow a set and man up. Are you THAT fucking insecure in yourself that you feel threatened by a Dom via a social networking site? Really?!?<br /><br />Again, I will put my disclaimer in here by stating this is MY BLOG and MY OPINION and no one is forcing you to read what I have to say. If you disagree, great, let’s discuss it more. I love open and friendly discussions. If you are offended, then tough shit, I aint here for you. If you have issue then simply click the little red X in the upper right corner of your screen. SEEYALATERBYE!!!!<br /><br />Bottom line is, it doesn’t matter to me what you do, how you do it, why you do it, etc. But to me when something just doesn’t seem right, guess what, it usually isn’t right. One of the biggest issues I see is people not using common sense. If we all took a deep breath, stepped back and use some common sense, a lot of things will work themselves out. <br /><br />Me<br /><br /><em>I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.</em>Strictnstern4uhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851596447579005429noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301381998826939170.post-69873706110149647662012-02-15T11:06:00.001-05:002012-02-15T11:06:31.626-05:00My painIts been some time since I last blogged. I have had a lot going on in my life and a lot of change. The first being I have separated from my wife and I am now going through a divorce. For the past couple of years my marriage to a vanilla woman had been going downhill. So when I moved out in December, it was on decent terms with her. Just over time we have grown apart and our lives are heading in different directions. In the long term, this will be good for me. It will allow me to get back to who I truly am. I will be able to “rediscover” myself. <br /><br />For the past couple of months I have been fighting depression in a major way. Many nights I have sat in my apartment and stared at the wall. Other nights, I stare at an end. I have blogged before about suicide and how I have lost 2 friends to it. Last month I lost another friend to suicide. Losing him made me realize why he did not help me when I reached out to him. I have reached out to a few others seeking some help for me emotionally, but I have not received anything back in the form of help. <br /><br />Yet here I am today blogging about the past few months and where I have been. No matter how upset, or how much thought I have put into an end, I still cant do it. What keeps me from doing it I don’t know. I have no one to live for. No children. Only family I have is a sister, and that communication is few and far between. All of my “friends” choose her side. All I have is the comfort of myself. And many nights, there is not comfort in that. People at work ask me how my evening or weekend was and I lie to them. I haven’t even told them that I have separated from my wife. In fact I have only told a handful of people I interact with daily. Hell, just the other day I stoped in at a local eatery to grab a bite to eat and when one of the people I know there asked how my wife was, I responded with, I don’t know, we are separated. <br /><br />Am I sorry for the failure of my marriage? Of course. Is it my fault? To a point yes, but she is at fault too. I am not going to assign blame or point the finger. I accept blame just as much as she does. In the end, this will be for the best. Such is life. Pick up and move on. In the meantime, I have to learn to keep myself together. I have to be strong for myself, because I have no one to lean on for strength. <br /><br />I have never been one to look at and into my future. I am not one to daydream of how I want things to be in my life. I do take into consideration how my actions of today will affect my tomorrow. In the past I have always felt certain that tomorrow will come in whatever capacity it might be. However, over the past year or so, I wonder if I will be around for my next birthday, or the next Christmas or even the next changing of the seasons. Now that I have typed that out, I have realized maybe that is why I am having a hard time expressing myself in my blog. My mind is so cloudy, I can not put together a complete thought. Just this posting I have had to go back and reread many times what I have typed to help me regain my train of thought. And even then I have to reread several times.<br /><br />Today, the day after Valentines Day, I feel better about myself. I actually sat at home last night wondering if I would see today. Its hard for me to say this even now, but I have contemplated taking my own life. I admit it. I have even thought of how I would want to do it. But as I think that, my mind wonders to my friends who have taken their own lives and then I wonder who will miss me. Who will wonder what they could have done to prevent me from doing this. And I come to the same conclusion. If the day comes that I do take my own life, I will do it in a manner that I will never be found. It will be done in a way that only I will know. I want to disappear from everyone in the world because the last thing I want is for people to think and wonder, “What could I have done differently?” And all I can think back to is, don’t give them a reason to think that. Just disappear back into the earth never to be seen again by a human being that knows me.<br /><br />I am going to post this blog. And I am sure those that read it will have something to say. Some will say it to me, some want. Either way, thank you for reading this. I am not going to edit, nor spell check this, I can not bring myself to reread this again. This is my therapy, writing about it and sharing in my blog.<br /><br />Me<br /><br /><em>I will inflict pain on myself and I will wipe away my own tears. </em>Strictnstern4uhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851596447579005429noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301381998826939170.post-4146242938983445772011-11-29T07:53:00.001-05:002011-11-29T07:53:59.910-05:00Can I manipulate you?!?Driving to work this morning, I was doing some thinking. By a show of hands, those of you reading this, who likes to receive a bare handed spanking? Nice. Ok, put your hands down. Now, raise your hand if you like to administer bare handed spankings. I am with you there. Ok, now, by a show of hands who likes to receive a good paddling? OH YEAH!!!! Ok, by a show of hands, who thinks I am now manipulating you to raise your hand? Damn skippy. You are submitting to me through my words. Oh, don’t sit there and say, “Nope, not me. You’re not making me doing anything.” Yea ok. Sure. Right. If you say so. Oh and do me a favor. Stop rolling your eyes at me. Yes you. You too.<br /><br />I was thinking oh how easy people can be manipulated. I admit, I am easily manipulated, when I am blindsided by it. Think about this. When you go to the store, and you’re standing in line waiting to check out and you hear “I can take you over here.” Or “My lane is open.” Or what about when you sit down at a restaurant and the server suggests a drink of choice. Or when you attend a meeting or reading someone’s blog and they are asking you questions and ask for you to raise your hand to show agreement. See, manipulated. It’s ok to admit it. I will keep it my little secret. Store it away in the vault inside my mind. However, I do reserve the right to use it against you at a later date. What? Not fair? Honey, the last time I checked life isn’t fair. Besides, you and I both know, if I am going to use something against you, it is going to be mutually beneficial to us both. Right? See, manipulated you again. It’s all about perception babe. Ok, maybe it is not manipulation per se when you are asked a question and you answer. But when you are asked a question and steered towards a certain answer, then yes, you are being manipulated.<br /><br />I used to know a sub lady who I met through the internet. Our relationship was purely internet based. We met in a chat room, struck up conversations and developed a good friendship. Oh, and she is submissive. So, after a while we exchanged phone numbers and started calling one another on the phone quite frequently. She would tell me about her man/Dom problems. I would tell her about my girl/sub problems. We would discuss current affairs, the weather. Whether wood or leather made a better paddle etc. One thing she always told me was I had a great phone voice. I knew this from being in high school and a lot of the girls swooning over me because of my deep baritone voice. She told me that Barry White was a soprano compared to me. Would any of you ladies like to find out yourself? WEG!!!!<br /><br />One night we were on the internet chatting away and flirting with one another and before I knew it, we were on the phone partaking in some phone sex. Some good phone sex I might add. So here I am telling her things I would do to her, telling her a little story and she is moaning to me on the phone. And me being the mean bastard I am, I ordered her to stop rubbing her clit, which she claims she did. As she was calming down, instructed her to rub some more. Having her stop and start many more times, this went on for about 30 minutes or so. I asked her if she ever had her clit spanked and she moaned into the phone that she loved it. Deepening my voice into a growl, I told her to spank it three times. A soft moan escaped her lips and I then told her I was not happy with those. Then I told her to spank it like I would spank it. The next thing I hear is 3 hard skin on skin slaps, and then a woman moaning and cumming into the phone. Did she really slap her clit? Well, I would think yes. Only she could tell you. But listening to her and her reaction, I truly don’t think she did NOT do it. <br /><br />Manipulation is a strong and powerful thing. We all do it to some point. Subconsciously we all are manipulating and being manipulated. Yes even a Dom like me gets manipulated. It happens. It is a fact of life. Sometimes it is personal, sometimes it is professional. But it does happen. I am not telling you this so you can strengthen you wall and prevent yourself from being manipulated. I am simply opening your eyes and trying to get you to have a better understanding.<br /><br />I might say things, or do things for personal satisfaction. Maybe manipulate someone into getting an answer I want or need to hear, but that doesn’t make me a bad person. It just makes me a better manipulator than you. <br /><br />Seriously though, all joking aside, I truly believe it is part of our psyche to want some aspect of control in our life. Manipulation is how it happens. Maybe it is the server asking you if you want coffee, tea or her. Maybe it is a Dom who wants an ego boost or a submissive who manipulates a Dom into getting a spanking. Whatever it is, manipulation is part of us. Don’t deny it. Accept it, harness its power, and use it to your advantage. Just be careful who you try to manipulate, because they might manipulate you in return for themselves.<br /><br />Thanks for allowing me to manipulate your eyes and your mind while reading my blog. I know I enjoyed it. I hope it was good for you too.<br /><br />Me<br /><br /><em>I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears. </em>Strictnstern4uhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851596447579005429noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301381998826939170.post-23338716385213893762011-11-27T18:38:00.001-05:002011-11-27T18:38:28.562-05:00TuckerI am writing this with a lot of pain in my heart and soul. Yesterday I did a terrible thing that 36 hours later I am still in pain. Even have some regrets. Morally I don’t think I should have done it. Morally I NEEDED to do it. There comes a time in life when you have to do what is best for someone else. Again, morally it is wrong but morally it is right.<br /><br />I am talking about have a pet put down because their health is not good. Yesterday morning about 5am I woke to the sound of my dog shaking after waking. Usually the second or third thing I do after I wake up is walk to the bathroom and take a leak. So naturally, like father like son, my dog followed the same habit. Usually he would wake, stretch out his body, shake and then take a leak. So, by the time I hear the shake, I have just a few seconds to get to him and guide him outside to go “pottie”<br /><br />Tucker boy as I called him was a rescue dog. About 5 years ago a lady brought him to my house to determine if I would be a fit father to have a dog. She checked out the house, made sure there were no little kids around, noticed I had a back yard that was fenced in and chatted with me to make sure I was not some satan worshiper who would sacrifice the dog for a chance at a blonde blue eyed virgin. Satisfied all was well with my house, I wrote a check to her rescue for Tucker and this Tucker became a part of me. His first night in my home was spent doing some whimpering and whining, a lot of walk around to check the place out and a lot of trips outside to train him to piss there instead of on the carpet inside. <br /><br />The next 4 years were great. A lot of laughter, anger and even car rides, sometimes just around the block for the hell of it. Some of the best times with Tucker were spent throwing a ball and watching him chase it down, bring it back to me and fighting me for it. Then tossing it again and repeating. Tucker didn’t care for toys that squeaked or jingled. Hell, I bought him raw hide bones and toys he wouldn’t even touch. One night I was playing with him, held the ball in my hand, made a fist and put my fist on the floor. Next thing I knew, tucker was lying on his belly and then rolling over. Laughing at it, I held the ball in the air and he started jumping for it. Then I put my fist back on the floor, Tucker immediately went to his belly and then rolled over. Whoever had Tucker before me had taught him a trick. Working with him, he knew how to sit, how to beg, even play dead. He was such a wonderful dog. I taught him my favorite trick and that was having him sit, then holding his snout in place, commanding him to stay. I would take a treat and put it on his snout, again commanding him to stay. I would move my hand and while he stared at the treat, he would not move a muscle. Then on cue, I would say get it and he would instantly jerk his head to the side and catch the treat before it hit the floor. Damn I loved playing with him.<br /><br />About 18 months ago, I noticed that when tucker would go to his food or water bowl to drink, his back legs would shake. The vet later said that Tucker was getting old and he had arthritis. Not much to do. So I put him on the old fart dog food, you know, the food for seniors, in hopes it would help with his joint pain. The next thing to go with Tucker was his eye sight. The vet now tells me he had cataracts so bad in his eyes, he was practically blind. Many times Tucker would walk himself into a corner, bump into walls or chairs or whatever was in the way. Tossing the ball was not a thing of the past with him because he did not know when I threw it. <br /><br />This is hard for me to type. I am sitting here wiping the tears from my eyes remembering the good and bad times with him. The pictures I took of him while he slept with his tongue hanging out, or laying half way out of his bed while he slept. There were times I would gently nudge him back into his bed and he would groan slightly and continue his snoring. Now I look at is empty bed right here beside my recliner and ask God to forgive me for having him put to sleep. <br /><br />I had to do it. His quality of life was nil. In the past few months, Tucker wouldn’t even get out of bed, or even sit up before he would pee all over himself. Yesterday morning at 5am, hearing him shake and his collar jingle, I sprung from bed and rushed into the living room to help him outside. Instead what I found was Tucker lying in the kitchen on the tile floor. Lying in his own feces. He didn’t even have the strength to get up and do his business. Instead, with his head in his water bowl and his body covered in feces, his tongue was searching in his empty water bowl for a few drops of moisture. I knew at that point his quality of life was very poor. I picked him up in my arms and took him to the bathtub to give him one final bath. To bath him one final time. I made sure he was clean from head to toe. Bathed him twice just to be sure. Picking up in my towel, I brought him into the living room and proceeded to dry him off from his bath. Taking his brush, combing his bear and and fur, I cried because I knew that this would be my final hours with him. <br /><br />At 7:45 I gently picked him up, walked out of the house to my car and gently laid him in the front seat. Making the drive to the vet, I gently stroked him on his head and down his back. His blind eyes looking in my direction, he knew where we were going. His eyes pleaded with me to not do it. To let him die at home and in peace. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t allow myself to watch and let him suffer like that. Leaving him in the car, I walked into the vet office and the lady behind the counter knew why I was there the instant she saw me without Tucker. Without saying a word she handed me a consent form and asked me if I wanted to stay with him. All I could do was shake my head. I couldn’t do it. I went back to the car, picked Tucker up in my arms for the last time and walked back inside. Cradling him in my arms, I rubbed his chest and belly one final time before she took him from me. Before she walked away, I kissed him one final time on his dry nose, removed his collar and watched her walk away with my little buddy. <br /><br />As the door closed, I imagined him closing his eyes and taking one final deep breath knowing what was to come. As I the door clicked shut, I spoke out loud to Tucker one final time telling him I loved him and asking him to forgive me. <br /><br />I miss you Tucker. I love you Tucker. I hope you have forgiven me little buddy. I pick up his collar one final time as I close this out, give it a jingle and call out, “Tucker bud, let’s go outside.”Strictnstern4uhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851596447579005429noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301381998826939170.post-17836808926179013162011-11-16T09:18:00.001-05:002011-11-16T09:18:44.998-05:00RamblingsSo here I sit reading my own blog hoping for some inspiration to write and I just can not find it. Lately I have been driving down the road or someplace where I do not have access to a computer or a note pad and a subject will enter my head that would make a good blog post. But I end up forgetting. I am too young to be forgetting things. Maybe it is all those hits to the head when I played football.<br /><br />I was reading about concussions a few years ago and one of the symptoms of a concussion is blurry vision and a head ache. So, when I visited the doctor for a check up, I was asking him questions about it. He confirmed that is true, then started asking me questions if I had a concussion, taken a blow to the head etc. I said sure, when I was in high school. LOL. I told him, that I played my entire football career with a concussion if headaches and blurry vision is a symptom of it. I always had a concussion. Maybe that explains my forgetfulness. Now, don’t think you can try to pull something over on me and when I say I don’t remember, you are not allowed to say it must be your concussion and forgetfulness. Not going to work.<br /><br />Last night I was working out and I was talking to my sadistic trainer. I told him last night I thought he was a sadist and all he could do was laugh. Now I wonder if he is in the lifestyle because he never really commented anymore about it. Then again, because he didn’t comment, maybe he is NOT. As a matter of fact, there is a good excuse why I haven’t blogged much lately. My arms are too sore and tired from working out. Yea. YEA!!! That’s it. That’s the excuse. LOL. Last night while working out, there was a young female working out with another trainer that kept catching my eye. She had one of those asses that you could bounce a bowling ball off of. Nice, round, firm and plush. YUM YUM!!! Guess where my mind was? Yes, that’s right. My mind was in my head. You win a treat. Good job. <br /><br />I ran into a friend from the lifestyle a couple of weeks ago at the store. We chatted about life in and out of the bedroom. Conversation drifted to scenes and paddlings. She told me her hubby was making paddles out of metal. Me being the freak that I am asked for a couple. I am waiting on my order to be filled. A nice metal paddle. I can not wait to use one on a sub. <br /><br />Not too long, but very short. Just some ramblings in my head today to appease those of you who are thinking “I haven’t seen a post from him in a while.” Well, here ya go. Enjoy. And yes I am talking about you. Yes you, the one chuckling and thinking he must be talking about someone else. I am talking to you. Yes you. I love getting into peoples heads and making them smile for no reason what so ever. Only think I love more, is getting in their head and watching the cringe and curse themselves for letting me into their heads. <br /><br />I am going to be a rebel today and not proof read nor spell check. Damn, I am such a wild hellion. LOL<br /><br />Me<br /><br /><em>I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears. <br /></em>Strictnstern4uhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851596447579005429noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301381998826939170.post-15934435326881955442011-10-11T08:43:00.000-04:002011-10-11T08:44:45.244-04:00Why is it so hard for people to accept my generosity, my sincerity and my honesty? I tend to do for others before doing for me. I am very sincere when I tell you that I wish you the best, or good luck, or I am here for you. And my honesty, although brutal at times, is just that. Honest. I tend to not sugar coat things. I call it like I see it. Take it or leave it.<br /><br />I know, doing for others is perceived as not that great of a quality for a mainstream Dominant. Dominants are supposed to take take take take. And not give give give. Well, let me share something with you. Whether you are Dominant or submissive, is requires give AND take. Take AND give. Equal amounts of it. It’s just that when you don’t have a submissive of your own, it is hard to take. Know what I mean? I know how to be a great friend. I know how to keep my mouth shut and listen. I even know how to leave the lines in the carpet after vacuuming and I know to put the toilet seat down. But don’t even think for one minute, my generosity, or my sincerity is fake or a façade that is being put up because I have an ulterior motive. <br /><br />It is very unfortunate for Dominants and men like me to get ahead anymore because of all the fakes and wannabes out there. The ones who do have an agenda or an ulterior motive to get into your pants, or beat you, or abuse you have ruined it for the good ones like my self. I have to work that much harder at opening doors and softening walls that submissives have put up or locked because of idiots that have come before me and left behind scars on them. Instead of taking the time to get to know someone, laugh with them and learn about what makes that person unique from everyone else, we spend time knocking on doors, asking to come in. Or spend time staring at that tall wall that has been built and shaking our head truly asking ourselves, “Is it worth it trying to get to know this person when it is an uphill battle just to say hi, how are you?”<br /><br />Same goes for submissives trying to get to know a Dominant. Dominants have been battered and bruised by players or wannabes. People will say and do just about anything to get what they want. I admit I have in the past. But once the smoke has cleared, I realized that what I did was wrong and should have gone about it a different way. I have learned that patience is a virtue and I exercise that. Those of you that read this blog and know me personally can agree with me. I amaze myself sometimes at how patient I have become. I have learned from my mistakes, grown from them and have made myself stronger. <br /><br />I also admit I have walls up. But they are walls to protect myself. Not walls to hide me and who I am. Its ok to have walls and doors. It is ok to keep those doors shut, maybe even locked. It is ok to have walls. Even acceptable to reinforce those walls when under attack. But leave yourself some peepholes so you can peek out and actually see who is there. Because if you don’t, that person will eventually give up and move on. <br /><br />Me<br /><br /><em>I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.</em>Strictnstern4uhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851596447579005429noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301381998826939170.post-79151745608128572742011-10-05T18:44:00.000-04:002011-10-05T18:45:23.942-04:00Secret SorrowBy a show of hands, how many of you knew someone who took their own life. Not someone you read or heard about. I mean someone personally. Someone you were buds with. Someone you were close to. Someone who after it happened, you actually said to yourself. “I could have stopped them from doing that?” <br /><br />I say that because I know of 2 people personally who have taken their own lives and there isn’t a day that goes by that they do not enter my mind, and immediately I think, what could I have done? <br /><br />The first person was a neighbor to my mom. He and his wife were in their mid 50’s and he had taken early retirement from the govt. Granted this was 1994 or so. I was always helping them with something. Once he bought a playground set for his grandkids and needed help picking it up and putting it together. That was a fun couple of weeks and a couple of hammered fingernails. Another time he was rebuilding his deck. Then there was the cookout on Labor Day when they invited mom, sister and my self over. Got to meet their 2 kids, watch the grandkids on the playground and I even learned a couple of grilling secrets from him. That winter I would shovel his driveway for him if it needed it. Even watched their dog when they went to visit their kids at Christmas. Come the next spring, I noticed he had parked his truck at an odd angle in this driveway and had covered the windows of his truck. I asked mom what he was doing and she thought maybe he was going to repaint his truck. I went over, knocked on the front door of the house but there was no answer. Not thinking anything of it, I made a mental note to check back the next day. As I crossed his yard, I walked within 20 feet of his truck and noticed that something didn’t seem right. The next day, mom called me to tell me the coroner, police and firemen were at his house. Seems what he did was run a hose from his exhaust to his window which was opposite of the road and houses, got in his truck and started the motor. He let the truck run killing himself until the truck ran out of gas. His wife said he sat in the truck for 2 days until she returned from a trip with a friend. And to think, I walked within 20 feet of him.<br /><br />The second person I knew was a brief co-worker. I had known him for about a year when he came to work with the company I work for. However, due to some legality issues with a non-compete, his stay was short. But we stayed in touch. Played some golf. Drank a lot of beer. Even gave each other shit over our favorite sports teams. The last I spoke with him, he was telling me about this girl that he was crazy about. He was going to ask her to marry him. Already had the ring. They were going out the next night and he was going to pop the question. We had made plans to celebrate and I had mentioned a Vegas trip for the bachelor party. A couple of days later he called me saying she said no and she left his ass. He was very upset about this. Was actually even crying. Talking to him for the next couple of hours, the thought entered my head a couple of times wondering if he would try to end his life. When I hung up the phone, he seemed to be calming down and was even talking of still going to Vegas to blow off some steam. Two days later, I got an email from some chic and she mentioned in a round about way if anyone had pictures of him that she could use to make a collage for his parents. She had sent it from her work email, so in her signature was her cell. I immediately called her and when I told her who I was, she started crying and said he isn’t with us anymore. When I asked why, she said he took his own life. At the funeral his parents couldn’t open the casket. Because he put the gun to the side of his head and pulled the trigger. And I failed to ASK him if he was considering ending his life.<br /><br />I say this because recently I came across a saying that has made me stop and think. I don’t know who wrote it, but it goes as follows.<br /><br /><em>Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not. Often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.</em> <br /><br />I read that and froze. And in a flash, the lives of these 2 men I knew flashed before my eyes. To someone we have and/or can make a difference in their lives. The next time that situation comes up, will you try to make that difference? I know I will. <br /><br />Me<br /><br /><em>I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears. </em>Strictnstern4uhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851596447579005429noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301381998826939170.post-26518728883241671362011-10-04T09:30:00.000-04:002011-10-04T09:31:01.555-04:00Readers CommentBelow is a comment that was published about don’t challenge me. I want to say that I do enjoy and treasure feedback and comments like this. Am I upset with this comment? Not at all. I love reading your opinions and even more so, treasure the fact that someone does have a different view and opinion from me. Nothing wrong with expressing it and I encourage everyone else to express theirs either in comments to me or anything else. I will not hold you back nor condemn you for sharing and expressing. Below her comment is my response.<br /><br /><br />Maybe it's not about limit's..she's a new submissive NOT experienced. I've found that some submissive's generally have low self esteem, not all but some. Shaking your ass at a BDSM club like a piece of meat when you have low self body image(and new to the scene) isn't about limit's ..it's about how they view themselves. Before you say she's hot and thin.Think for a minute, how it's not about YOUR view, it's hers. Of course a new submissive is going to say she has no limit's. How can someone new to BDSM experience everything kink has to offer too even know what her limit's are. She would have to be open, experience it for herself and then decide what kind of limit to place, if any at all. For you to think it was even a challenge to you or about you, when she said she wouldn't dance for her Dom. is so arrogant. Then you belittle her and make her cry?? great way for you to treat people and a good way to ruin a new submissive. She hasn't changed for her Dom. because of your put downs(more arrogance on your part) Congratulations! You've just reinforced her views on her body image and made it even lower than before if that's even possible. ps challenge you.. no, first off you would have to be worthy of a challenge (flicks lint off my shoulder and quirks my left eyebrow)<br /><br />Well lil poppet, why dont you tell us how you feel. I sense some anger in your post. Let me start by saying, you are right. It is not about me. Arrogance? Of course. Dont we all have and express some? Just some have and express more than others. It is what makes us unique. Right? However, let me say this. You were not there to see this. Well, maybe you were. I dont know. I can tell you this though. I did not belittle her. I did not put her down. I taught her a lesson. Her Dom and her both see this and understand this. The lesson learned was that we all have limits and it was arrogance on her part to say she had no limits. Sometimes you have to knock someone off their perch and then pick them up to help them see this, learn from it and grow. The only thing I reinforced with her was the fact that she should think before speaking. If she had self image issues, I dont think she would have been there in the first place.As for saying I must be worthy of a challenge? I am very worthy of one. However, it seems YOU are the one demonstrating some arrogance. Thanks for reading and sharing your view and opinion. I truly did enjoy it and appreciate it very much so.<br /><br />Me<br /><br /><em>I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.</em>Strictnstern4uhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851596447579005429noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301381998826939170.post-58178264021855876202011-10-04T07:56:00.000-04:002011-10-04T07:57:19.029-04:00A personal noteSo it’s been a few weeks since I have posted on here. I have started many but just could not get my mind to settle down and finish. Here the past few months it seems my mind is going in a million different directions. Work has been beyond crazy. Outside of work has been very busy with the new part time job that I now have. <br /><br />I have a huge love for football. As far as I am concerned it is one of, if not THE greatest sport out there. For the past 10 years I was a football coach, molding and developing the future football stars to be seen on the fields of battle on Saturdays and Sundays. This year, I decided to take a different approach and become a football official. Holy cow. What a rush. I thought coaching was fun, being an official is even more fun. Last night I had a game and was actually throwing myself into the middle of some extra curricular activity that was taking place AFTER the whistle had blown. For those of you who are not sports oriented, that means players from the opposite sides of the ball decided to have some not so friendly words, do some shoving amongst one another and sometimes take a swing at someone. So here I am, right in the middle, no helmet or pads like these young men are wearing and I am breaking them up and separating them. Some of you have met me and know how big and strong I am. HA!!! I don’t compare to these young men, yet I jump in and do my best to keep from getting punched. I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!<br /><br />I have also started working out with a personal trainer. Check a previous post about being a masochist. Well, just to give you an update, the intensity and the pain has been amped up. Seems I am improving, getting stronger, more stamina and I am asking for more. What a fucking idiot I am. The last time I went, it was 30 minutes on the elliptical, which by the way, when I first started I could not go 5 minutes without some sort of pain that would cause me to stop for a breather. Now I am going 30 minutes non stop. The burn and heat radiating from my thighs is so intense, I swear you could fry bacon and eggs on them. The other day he had me doing some sort of press with my arms on this machine. After the first one I stopped. He asked if everything was alright and I said sure. The next thing that escaped my lips was probably the most idiotic thing I have ever said in my life to a man that is considered by me a sadistic evil bastard. “Is that all you have for me? Come on, put more weight on there and let’s work out.” <banging>DUMB ASS!!!!!! Next thing I know we now have 200 pounds instead of 100 pounds on the bar and I am to bust out 3 sets of 10. So, I tell myself, no problem. <banging>DUMB ASS!!!!! After 5, I am grunting and straining and thinking and then saying DUMB ASS!!!!!! That’s 200 pounds on each arm, and it is a one arm press away from my body. DUMB ASS!!!!!! I finished my 30 and walked to get a drink of water. I couldn’t even lift up my arm to push the water fountain button. Laugh it up fuckers. Go ahead. I am so glad that I can amuse and humor you. HA HA!! <br /><br />Let’s see, what else is going on? Oh, I have a birthday coming up. Normally I wouldn’t mention it. I am not one to ask for gifts, expect some celebration or anything like that. But damn it, I have reached the end of my always doing for others and not expecting or wanting anything in return. So now, for fucks sake, I want others to do for me. You know what I mean. I want a party. I want everyone to buy me drinks on my birthday. I want presents. I think I am going to create a wish list and post on here. If anyone wants to get me a gift, I will gladly give you an address to send it to. No obligation of course. I am not that greedy. Well, except for fig Newton’s. DON’T TOUCH MY FIG NEWTONS YOUR BASTARD!!!!! <br /><br />I mentioned my mind is going in a million different directions. Well, here are just some ramblings that are going on behind closed doors. Well great, now that I am going to type those thoughts out, those fucking voices in my head have decided to lie down and take a nap. WAKE UP FUCKERS, YOU AINT GETTING OFF THAT FUCKING EASY!!! Damn, I hear crickets in my head. It’s just a star filled clear sky in my head, out in a field, crickets chirping, and soft wind rustling though the tall grass. An owl off in the distance hootie hoots. Damn I wish I were there now. I would throw my head back, close my eyes. Stretch my arms out to my side. Palms up and take the deepest breath. And then let out a howl that would make the werewolf himself cringe. <br /><br />Recently, I have realized who my true friends are. And I have realized that I have very few friends. A whole lot less than I realized. I am not going to dwell on the negativity of this. And I don’t want to sound self centered or selfish. But if you’re going to tell someone you are their friend, then by all means, be that friend. You don’t always have to be at their beck and call, but if someone reaches out to you, then offer them a hand to grab a hold of. People come and go in life. Doors open and they close. To me, I live in a world with no doors. At least I don’t want doors. I might keep you at arms length, or not respond to a text, email or message, but that does not mean I have closed and locked a door on you. I might come across as a cold hearted bastard, but when you peel the many layers of harden skin, knock down the numerous walls, you will learn I am really a softie. But I still know what’s going on. I still keep tabs on you or you, and even you. But I will not intervene, or step toward you not because I am one that wants to be approached. But because I am one to keep my distance and observe. <br /><br />So, I hope everyone has learned a little about me today. Hope you learned about the man that I am outside of BDSM. I have given you a peak into my personal life. With that said, I want to personally thank you for reading.<br /><br />Me<br /><br /><em>I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears. </em>Strictnstern4uhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851596447579005429noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301381998826939170.post-40725884131461967302011-09-08T08:16:00.000-04:002011-09-08T08:19:29.468-04:00Mistakes and owning themRecently I started conversing with a young woman here in town. So far on the phone and via text we seem to have some chemistry, share common interest in the same things both kink and vanilla which is a great thing. Yesterday as I was leaving work she was telling me about another Dom who has been after her and he will not take no for an answer. She went on to tell me she met him once and there just was no chemistry between them and she had been telling him to stop contacting her. However he seems he will not take no for an answer. So being the Domly one that I am, and seeing how her and I seem to be moving in the right direction, in an instant I instructed her to contact him and say “Fuck off.” She giggled slightly and I said in my stern Dom voice (ok all you subbie readers, stop giggling, you are ruining my train of thought here. I mean it, don’t make me… I will…. I am serious…. I’LL TAKE MY BELT OFF DAMN IT!!! Better, now sit still and keep your lips zipped) “Do you hear me laughing? I am very serious. Tell him to FUCK OFF! Better yet, give me his fucking number and I WILL tell him to FUCK OFF!!!” <br /><br />At that point I could feel her sense of being change instantly. We just crossed over from the “get to know one another” stage to the “I AM DOM, HEAR ME ROAR like a kitten.” I hear more giggling damn it. In an instant she went from a bubbly, laughing, giggling, out going woman to a submissive so in need of control, discipline, structure and safety. Her reply, although some what hesitant, was a simple, “Yes Sir.” And of course, me being the nice Domly one that I am, (side stepping the lightening bolt), I replied good girl.<br /><br />So, here I am feeling all powerful, Domly, and excited for this girl, I hurry off to exercise my masochist self with the Sadist from the bowels of hell trainer that I am paying. My work out was very good. I even asked him if he enjoyed inflicting the pain on me. So, after my hour of absorbing pain and putting my body through hell, I picked up my phone and find a couple of text messages from this girl. She was telling me she messed up at work today and got in trouble. I texted asking what she did, she told me then made another comment that it was not that big of a deal and does not know why her boss made such a fuss over it. <br /><br />I am not going to keep going into great detail about the next phone conversation, but I believe I made my point with her. Because the only words to pass over her lips were Yes Sir. And several times she said those words. <br /><br />A couple of points I want to make here about this chain of events. One, why the fuck do people have to be such assholes and not accept that the other person in this equation is not interested in you? This lifestyle is different on some parts, but on other parts it is just like a vanilla relationship. Seriously, lets be adult about it, accept what it is, and move the fuck on. Stop wasting the energy and MY OXYGEN to whine and cry about what do you mean youre not into me? I am into you. Or give me another chance, I can do things differently. Stop being a fucking cry baby, accept it and move on. Other wise I will shove my size 13 foot so far up your ass that the next time you sneeze, it will not be snot and boogers flying from your nose, but toe jam from my foot. <br /><br />Second is why is it so hard to accept ownership of your mistakes. If you screw up, admit it, fix it, learn from it and move on. Don’t dwell on it. Don’t dance around it and hem and haw about it. Own it, cherish it, love it and try not to do it again. We all are human. We all make mistakes. Some just make them more than others. Not because they are better than you, but because they fix it and don’t make the same mistake twice. If you can learn to fix a mistake as fast as you make it, you can not only improve yourself but it also allows you to move past it and move on. Making mistakes is just part of life. And life is short enough as it is. Do you want to spend what precious time you have in life dwelling on mistakes? I sure as hell don’t. <br /><br />With that said, I will end this by saying that life is what YOU make of it. Don’t like the way something is going? Change it. Stop whining and bitching about it. Change it. Fix it. Get over it. And get on with your life. Not everyone wants to have to put up with your mistakes. Not everyone wants to put up with your whiney, can not accept no ass. Remember, treat others the way you want to be treated. I hope that when I die, that I am remembered not for the guy who some perceived as an asshole, some hated me because I came across as mean and cold and others just really didn’t care. But I hope I remembered as the guy that was always honest, sometimes brutal, the guy who did not sugar coat things, and the guy at the end of the day was able to be remembered as someone everyone could say, “Ya know, he really wasn’t a bad guy after all.”<br /><br />Me.<br /><em><br />I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears. </em>Strictnstern4uhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851596447579005429noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301381998826939170.post-74363348569839543062011-09-01T10:25:00.000-04:002011-09-01T10:26:20.167-04:00RamblingsSeems I have hit a bit of a wall. I have not blogged in a while because I simply can not get anything out of my head and into the computer. I have made several attempts but would lose my train of thought and unable to finish it. I have so many thoughts rambling through my head but I am unable to snag one and expand on it. Maybe it is the stress in life, the lack of a submissive to call my own, or the fact that my vanilla life is in a whirl wind. Maybe a combination of all three. I don’t know. I do know that many of you check here daily in hopes of seeing the next post or next story. For those of you, I apologize.
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<br />I do know there are many of you who send me personal emails commenting, complimenting, a few complaints and seeking advice my advice. Thank you for reading, even the complainers. Just so you know, I will try not to blog about the complainers. I do not want to give them their own forum on my blog. I simply tell them that if they do not like my thoughts, opinions or past experiences, they are free to click the red X in the upper right corner and disappear. Although, I think they like to bitch and complaining because they keep coming and reading more. I love how people try to get under my skin just to see if they can push me into a rage. Keep trying fuckers, it aint gonna happen.
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<br />With that said, I will comment on something. I have no problem conversing with someone who simply looks to satisfy their kink. I don’t have a problem with texting, calling or emailing with someone to help them get off. However, the problem is this. At least have the fucking courtesy to say “Hey Mr SNS Sir, I don’t mind being a friend, but will you help me get off? Your words excite me. I just really need to cum.” I don’t have a problem with that. Don’t fucking lead me on though and promise me things you have no intentions on falling through with.
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<br />On another note, is it bad of me wanting to be a Sugar Daddy to a couple of 20yo young ladies? I mean their bodies are so virgin. So ripe. Their minds are so corruptible. Remember, I have freakdar. I can pick up on things. WEG. I have a friend who told me that if I can get them naked, flog them and turn them into my submissives, that I will forever be crowned the King in his book. I kinda like that. King SNS.
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<br />Me
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<br /><em>I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.</em>
<br />Strictnstern4uhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851596447579005429noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301381998826939170.post-29317355445675293392011-08-26T08:07:00.000-04:002013-06-06T20:32:33.611-04:00Am I a masochist too?Recently I started working out with a personal trainer. I thought I was a Sadist and got off on inflicting pain to people. Not everyone mind you, just the slaves who crave some pain. But then again, I can be a sadistic bastard and just fuck with your mind and not actually inflict any pain. I do have SOME masochist’s tendencies in me. For example, I broke my crop on my own leg.
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Here is the scene. I have a submissive, bent over a wooden sawhorse. Knees, ankles, elbows and wrists tied to the legs of the saw horse. Ass high in the air. Ball gag in her mouth. I am walking around her teasing her skin with a feather. Swatting her with the crop every so often. Nice little crop prints all over her body. As I walk around I am slapping the side of my calf with the crop at a rapid fire pace. When all of a sudden, the crop swings lighter in my hand and the top of the crop is replaced with the tail of a whip. Looking at the crop, I realize I have just broken the shaft in half and the other end of it has flown some 6-8 feet away from me. What do I do? Reach for another? Grab my wood paddle or spoon? No. I scream out fuck and say I just broke my favorite crop. A moment passes by and the next thing I hear is what I think is a giggle. Looking at said subbie bound to the wooden sawhorse, I see she is shaking. Not shaking from fear, but shaking because she is laughing uncontrollably. Removing the ball gag, I ask her what is so fucking funny. She replies that she has never had a Dom break a crop, especially on himself. One hard slap on her ass fixed that laugh real quick. But quickly she replies, well, if that’s what it takes to get a good ass slap, I will laugh AT you more often. Followed by a giggle. Next followed by my knife. My knife cutting the ropes and setting her free. She pouts. Scene goes on for more, but I wont go into more details yet.
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Back to the masochists in me. So, like I said, I have been seeing a personal trainer. And after the first hour long session, I now realize he is one sadistic bastard. The fucker has doing things and working out muscles that I didn’t know existed in the human body. And I got an A in anatomy and physiology in college. Right now, my arms are so sore, I couldn’t pick up a length of rope and tie that submissive to the sawhorse if my life depended on it. My thighs are still burning from the squats on the rack on TUESDAY!!!! 3 days ago. Hell, I bet my cock and balls are probably sore. Just haven’t had to do anything with them to find out if they are able to move. But you know what. DAMN IT FEELS GOOD. And to beat it all, I scheduled appointments 3 weeks out with this guy. Yes, I am masochists as well as Sadists. Just don’t ask me to spank, flog, or even tie you up right now because I just can’t.
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Are there any good subbies out there willing to give me a weekend long massage?
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Me
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<em>I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.
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(Although right now, the only pain is in MY muscles, will you kiss them for me?)
Strictnstern4uhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851596447579005429noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301381998826939170.post-1034603684753403842011-08-04T09:55:00.000-04:002011-08-04T09:56:24.911-04:00Did you fart? Part 2.This morning I was browsing another blog. This blog belongs to someone who has read mine. Hers is quite interesting, erotic and funny. Funny because I am cruising the title section of her blogs and my eyes freeze in their gaze when I see one titled Fart. Instantly I click on it and before I am half way through it, I am laughing my ass off. So much so, I had to stop reading and wipe the tears from my eyes. Absolutely hilarious to read her little story about the time she farted on her Dom. <br /><br />So I got to thinking after reading this. Some of the comments she received along with what was happening to her brought up a point. Sometimes you are going to fart while engaged in a sexual activity. You know, fucking? Either a cock or a dildo or even another persons fist inside you can cause air to become trapped, this creating a passing of said air that was trapped between your pussy or ass wall and the object that is being inserted and removed repeatedly in an in and out motion. Get the picture? Most men love pussy farts. Makes them feel empowered when that can cause a woman’s pussy to fart. <br /><br />I remember being a kid and my step dad laughing so hard from farts I thought he was going to die from lack of oxygen. We would go fishing, I could cut one in the boat and he would lose it. Once we were watching SNL and they did a skit with this doctor who had bottled farts. Holy fuck I had never laughed so hard in my life. I don’t remember if I was laughing at the skit or at him for the way he was laughing. Great memory.<br /><br />There is a website called fart-sounds.net You should check it out. I have used it before here at the office and made a few people think I have broke wind. Plus there are some awesome videos on there too. Check out the dinosaur fart. <br /><br />Fart is natures way of releasing built of pressure. Either pressure for all those beans you ate, to the pressure of the Dom’s cock fucking your cunt. A fart is a fart either from your pussy or ass. LOL. Unless of course you do a crop dusting then all bets are off.<br /><br />Me<br /><br /><em>I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.</em> Unless of course its tears of laughter from farting in my face, in which case you just have a plain ole ass whipping coming.Strictnstern4uhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851596447579005429noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301381998826939170.post-65522932220332028002011-08-02T14:17:00.000-04:002011-08-02T14:18:13.805-04:00Be careful of who you challenge.Recently I went out to a local club and was hanging with some friends. It’s always great going out with friends. Mingling, drinking beer, enjoying laughs and hitting on each others wives. <innocent>the last time we all went out, we were having a grand ole time. Met a new couple, a nice young couple. Oh how I like nice young couples. Especially when the conversation turns towards BDSM. Turns out he is somewhat new to the lifestyle. I admit, chatting with him some, he has what it takes. The young lady who was with him that night might be a different story. <br /><br />One thing I find interesting in a lot of people is their need to challenge one another. “I’m going to kick your ass!!” “I can beat you in a game.” “No one spanks harder than so and so.” This one I like. Especially when at the club and hearing people say that when they find out I like to spank some ass. At first people would laugh, roll their eyes and give me that “yea yea’s”. I think they now know I back up with I say. More often than not, people do not know what they are getting themselves into when they meet me and attempt to challenge me. <br /><br />Back to this particular young girl new to the lifestyle. She quickly received some education from me about humility and keeping her mouth shut. The conversation was going along the lines of what do you like, exchanging laughs, joking, telling stories etc when she decided to open her mouth and tell me she has no limits. “Honey, everyone had limits.” She assured me, that “I have no limits.” Ok, that caused me to roll MY eyes. The other lady that was with me, a Domme, she put her hand on my arm, because she knew what was coming next. <br /><br />I chuckled; evil laughed and kept my mouth shut. Yes, I kept my mouth shut. The best things come to those who wait little one. We chatted more about this and that. Things to do to her nipples, ways to bind her wrists etc. The four of us engaging in friendly conversation and banter back and forth when the boyfriend/Dom stated he wanted to see his girl on the stage and dancing. She insisted she was not going to dance on stage, would not do it period. End of discussion. Pausing mid smile, I cocked an eyebrow and said, “Oh really?” My Domme friend tried to step between us and push me away because no telling what was going to happen next. <br /><br />I made the comment, “I thought you said no limits?” She responded with that’s right or something along those lines. Are you sure? Positive. Ok, so just to make sure I am clear, you have said you have no limits… correct? And again the answer was yes Sir, no limits. Now that giant evil grin flashed across my face. I turned to the boyfriend and asked his permission to test this theory of no limits. He nodded and said sure. I said, if you have no limits, then why are you refusing to get on stage. Nothing. So you are still standing on your words of “I have no limits.”? Yes Sir I am.<br /><br />Let’s just say she never made it to the stage, she ended up in a puddle on the floor sobbing because her stubbornness got her in trouble. I heard from him the other day. He tells me things are a lot better between them. Even growing. He is having a lot of fun play time with her and she is a very obedient little subbie.<br /><br />Be careful of who and when you challenge someone. You just might bite off more than you can chew. I am not one to really challenge someone. But I will do my best to excite you and push you to be better, bolder, work harder, be more attentive etc. I am sure there is someone out there who can flip me in a challenge, but I have yet to come across that person. But if I do, all I can say is, clear the city, there is going to be a throw down that night.<br /><br />Oh, and by the way. Is there anyone who wants to challenge me? WEG.<br /><br />Me<br /><br /><em>I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.</em>Strictnstern4uhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851596447579005429noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6301381998826939170.post-16566736311051817602011-07-29T11:59:00.000-04:002011-07-29T12:00:04.053-04:00Would you pay for it?Would you ever pay for sex? Would you accept money in exchange for sex? Would you ever pay to have someone whip your ass? Would you pay someone to let you whip their ass? Before you answer these questions, let me ask you another question. Who pays for dinner when you go out on a date or to a movie? <br /><br />I ask these questions because there are people out there who feel they should be compensated in some way for their time when partaking in sexual acts, BDSM activities, etc. I’m not here to defend prostitutes, Pro Domme’s or anyone else that would fall into that category. But what is the difference in taking a woman out on a date and buying her dinner. Maybe taking her to a movie. Maybe flowers or even a small gift. And then hope at the end of the night things went well enough that you can get lucky and get you a little sumtin sumtin. <br /><br />I suppose one difference is professional and amateur. It’s all a matter of how you declare yourself. Let’s compare amateur and professional athletes for example. A college basketball player is considered an amateur athlete. Until he hires an agent and/or gets asked/drafted/selected to play for a professional league and is then paid a salary to play a sport. Thus he went from an amateur athlete to a professional athlete because now he draws a pay check. How many watch golf on TV? Ever noticed that sometimes next to a name you will see a small letter “a”? No, that doesn’t designate that person as an asshole nor are they branded with the scarlet letter. The small “a” means they are an amateur playing. That also means that no matter where they finish in that tourney, they will receive NO MONEY!!! <br /><br />Back to the sexual and BDSM aspect of it. As a society many of us look down upon professionals who sell themselves in some manner for sex or bdsm. Yes prostitution is illegal in most states. Hell, getting fucked in the ass is illegal in some states. Many of us even look at paying someone for sex as morally wrong. Hey, we are human after all. Would I pay for sex? No, I wouldn’t. In one hand, I think that is a sign of desperation to pay for sex in some form. In the other hand, paying for sex just eliminates the need for courtship and gets you right down to the nitty gritty of it. To each their own. I just won’t pay for it, nor will I charge for it. Although I might charge for my advice. Does that mean I am pimping my brain out? Maybe I need to re-examine that though.<br /><br />I know a couple of ladies who are in the BDSM world who do charge for their services. We have actually become friends. Not great friends where I get a discount or would call them to bail me out of jail. Not saying I would do something to cause me to go to jail. But friends that we can openly discuss things in a friendly manner. I have always told them that it is their right to make a living, earn some side cash or whatever. I mean if someone is willing to pay for it, then someone has to be there to take their money. So be it. More power to them. <br /><br />Bottom line is this. Whatever you or the other person chooses to do is their business. We have the right and the option to turn away from them. We can express our opinion to them, but it is their right to do what they want either legally or illegally. Do you know the difference between legal and illegal? No, wrong answer. No again. And that’s three no’s in a row, you are out. The difference is getting caught. It is only illegal if you get caught. Well, ok, sarcasm ruled on that one. But in a sense, it is correct. <br /><br />Are your eyes and mind open now? If not then don’t worry, there is hope for you yet. LOL. In my opinion I think it is all a matter of perception. <br /><br />Me<br /><br /><em>I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.</em>Strictnstern4uhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08851596447579005429noreply@blogger.com1