Wednesday, March 4, 2009

What makes the best submissive?

Last night I had dinner with a new friend. We have been emailing and texting for a few weeks now. I heard she has magical hands and is a certified massage therapists. So, me being one to make myself feel good, I inquired about a massage for myself and my wife. Our schedules finally had an open time so we decided to meet. We enjoyed good food and great conversation. We even talked about which patrons and waitresses would be fun to play with.

During our conversation we got on the subject of submissives. We talked about how important communication is. Being open minded to others and their wants and needs. Even discussed personal preferences in women. I love talking with bisexual/lesbian women and comparing notes about women in general. One of her comments hit the nail on the head. The best submissive is one who can Dominate themselves. I am hearing a lot of "HUH?'s" and see people scratching their heads. Let me elaborate on this.

The best submissive is one who knows what he/she wants. Knows how to express themselves. Understands how important communication is. The best submissive is one who can control themselves without constant guidance from another. The best submissive is not meek, unsure, or even afraid. The best submissive is the one who will speak up, stand up, and stand out without the help of another. The best submissive is one who can Dominate themselves.

I am not saying that they tie themselves up, spank their own ass or even deny themselves an orgasm. Stop thinking like that. Open your eyes and your mind for a moment. Ask any Dominant and majority, if not all will tell you that they seek a submissive that is able to make decisions on their own, in the best interest of their Dominant without said Dominant there. Many times I hear from others who are submissives,"I am not a doormat, do not want to be treated as one." Good. Stand up for yourself. Don't let someone push you around. I, myself, don't want a submissive who is a doormat and allow others to push her around. I love a submissive who has a backbone. I want a strong submissive. Not a weak minded one.

Dominating them self is about exercising self control. Don't get me wrong. I love a submissive who can beg effectively. I love a submissive who is creative and manipulative. Although, I have yet to find one who can out manipulate me. Anyone want to give it a shot? I have a fear that too many of you reading this are confusing this with sex in some sort. That is not what I am talking about. I am talking mental and emotionally. Two things that many people forget about in this lifestyle. Exercise self control in the aspect of going after what you want and need. Do not settle for anything less. There is nothing wrong with being impatient. But look back on past experiences. The times you were impatient, what happened? Did it end in failure? Did it cause you grief? Again, the best submissive is one who can Dominate them self.

I have learned that the best submissive is one who can be open with their wants and needs. They are able to communicate effectively and openly. They are completely honest at all times. Many times I ask a potential new submissive to keep a written journal that I will read. In that journal it is an open and free area for them to write about anything they want to without fear of being punished for expressing their thoughts. For those who have a hard time communicating, it is easier for them to keep this journal and have learned to express themselves. In order to fully give themselves to another, they must first be able to Dominate themselves.

No many of you are probably thinking, "I am a shitty submissive then." Wrong. I am not saying you are. Maybe you haven't come across the right Dominant. Maybe you have the wrong attitude. If you are going to constantly talk negative, you will never grow in this lifestyle. Keep a positive attitude and good things will happen. Everyone in this lifestyle is different. This is my opinion I am sharing with others. I am sure some of you have different opinions from me. That's great. If you wish to share that opinion, I would love to read it. Please feel free to comment at anytime on this. Either comment on the blog, or email me directly.

My final thought is this. At the end of the day we are all equal in someway in this lifestyle. Always follow the golden rule of treat others the same way you want to be treated. Be true to yourself. Don't sugar coat it or lie to yourself in order to please another. Be the best you can be at all times. You never know who is watching and observing. I am ALWAYS watching and observing. The best submissive is one who can Dominate them self.

I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.

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