Thursday, March 5, 2009


Last night I went to bed simply wore out. Not only was yesterday a mentally tiring day with work, but I did some volunteer work that didn't allow me to get home until almost 11pm. After waking up at 4:30 yesterday morning, I was asleep before I could pull the covers over my body in bed. Work was busy, stressful and hectic yesterday. Every time I turned around there was another small crisis to take care of. I would be on the phone, have one on hold, cell phone would ring, emails to be answered, employees asking questions...... At the end of the evening as I was driving home I reflected on the day. Mistakes I made and things that were accomplished. Yesterday I felt I was pulled in 5 million different directions. Driving home last night, I truly wished I had a foot slave at home so I could receive a much earned foot rub.

I say this because we all have stress in our lives. Many of us have families that we support and care for. Many of us have lives outside of this lifestyle. We have responsibilities. House payments, mouths to feed, bills to pay etc. I know several people who turn to this lifestyle as an out, as a stress reliever to their day. I am not questioning your reason for being in the lifestyle. It is your choice. Just as it is my choice why I am in the lifestyle. Whatever it is, we share a lot of the same thoughts and ideas. We even differ on opinions.

I do my best to not allow my stress effect my thoughts and actions in this lifestyle. I exercise what I like to call the 24 hour rule. The 24 hour rule allows me to sleep on it, reflect, replay it in my head and go over the possible solutions. Sometimes I react on emotion and have the right solution the first time. Sometimes I don't have the right solution and it makes the issue worse then it is. I remember being a teenager and pushing my mom to do something I wanted to do. I was so excited, couldn't wait, "Lets go mom!" But after it was over, it was a let down. Turns out it wasn't as exciting or thrilling as I thought. The outcome differed from what I wanted it to be. It has taken me a long time, but I have learned to use a lot of patience. A LOT!!!!! Oh I still get anxious and sometimes over react to something. I am human.

I know it is hard to hear someone say, "be patient". I understand that. But when you think about it after the fact, many times you kick yourself and realize you could and should have been patient. Life sux. Life is full of disappointments. The sooner you learn to live and deal with that, the easier things can and will become. I used the be the type to get excited and expect things to happen when I did something. Maybe it was a first date with a woman, expecting to start a relationship only to be let down because the chemistry wasn't there. I firmly believe in maintaining a positive attitude. if you believe it is going to happen it will. But that is a broad statement. Its different if you maintain a positive attitude that it WILL get better. I WILL find the one I want. Now, instead of expecting something to happen in my favor every time I do something, I just go into everything with the attitude, "Whatever happens happens." Meaning if it is meant to be it will happen. Might not be today or tomorrow, but it will happen. No expectations, and with no expectations, there is no let down because you have not gotten your hopes and dreams up.

I am not directing this post at any one person. Do not think that I am. This is my opinion. My thoughts. If it causes you to become emotional and want to strike out, lash out, get upset etc, then by all means exercise the 24 hour rule. Reread this post many times. Then come to me and discuss it. Everything in life happens for a reason. Many times we love the reason that it happened. But also, many times we do NOT like the reason. Again, life is full of disappointments. You need to start getting used to it. This post is not a reflection as to what is going to happen. This post is a reflection of what HAS happened.

My final thought is this. Life is what you make of it. Your actions in the past can and will determine your future. What is the past is the past. You can not change it. The future is uncertain. We are not promised tomorrow. Live for today, learn from the past and prepare for the future.

I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.

1 comment:

Skye said...

Sometimes it's hard to not get your hopes up about something happening, but when those hopes get dashed or the reality isn't as good as the expectation, then you start toning down the anticipation.

This isn't to say that anticipation or hope are bad, just don't put so much hype into the expectation that the reality can never hope to live up to it.

I tend to take things as just possibilities until they are imminent and I know that they will happen. This makes me appear calm a lot of the time when reality is that it just has not hit me that there is a reason to be excited.

Patience is hard for me, despite that. I always want to know and know now - but it is information and ideas that I am impatient for - I can wait for the event. I just like to have an idea of what to expect.