Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Today is yesterday, today is the new day.

Last week was an emotional week for me. I took some time to myself this past weekend to reflect on last week. Life is a roller coaster. At the beginning of the ride, we are on the track, slowly ascending to the top. The anticipation of what is to come is both scary and exciting. Your mouth might get dry, or your hands sweaty and clammy. I tend to look side to side and take in the scenery. Looking out over the park. Over the tree tops, see other rides, try to look down and see whats below me. Then you reach that peak. I like to sit in the back so I can watch what is ahead of me. Seeing the cars in front of me disappearing over the top of the first hill, sitting up straight, feeling the car jerk, I mumble to my self..... "Oh yea, here we go!"

Then the thrill of the ride is on, the first downhill, the speed, gravity pulling you back down and to the side. Squeezing the person next to me, that poor person. Going through the twist and turns, then back up a hill, preparing for the next downhill plunge. Maybe a loop is coming. I am guilty of grabbing the bar many times throughout the ride to hold on. Cursing, closing my eyes and sometimes saying to myself, "its only a ride, no need to be scared!" Before you know it, the ride is over. You are coming back to the start, the brakes on the ride jerking you to a top. The bar raises, you step out and look back at the car. "Did I leave anything behind? Wallet? Sunglasses? A turd? " If it is a good ride, your leg might be shaking, or your stomach is still in the loop, ready to hurl your lunch.

Our lives are like this. One event is equal to one ride. Sometimes thrilling and exciting. Sometimes it is a bore. Sometimes you hurl or it was a bad experience. But it never fails, you will feel the same each and every time that event comes around. Meeting someone new for the first time. Attending your first munch or play party. The first time you participate in a scene. Life not going your way and bringing you a bad day. Whatever it is, we all experience emotional roller coasters.

I know I started this blog as a place for me to share my experiences, thoughts, opinions and ideas. Last weeks post was more of a vent for me. Last week was a roller coaster I never want to get back on. My fear is not the ride itself. My fear is I know that is not the last time I will be on that ride. I believe in life is what you make of it. I believe we can not allow ourselves to constantly be in a negative downward spiral. We will have those times where we feel like the world is collapsing on us. When it feels like the walls are closing in. But until you stand up, put out your arms, and scream, ENOUGH!!!!!!!, life will continue to bring you down.

My final thought it this. Do not live in the past, you can not change what has already been done. Do not live in the future for we do not know what it will bring us. Live for today. Enjoy today. Learn from the past so you do not make that mistake in the future. Learn from the past so it will allow you to enjoy today. What you do today determines your tomorrow. It is time to stand up and hold your arms out. Scream. Shout. Tell those walls it is time to open up.

I know I did, and today I am proof that those walls will open up. Today is here. Yesterday is gone. Today of last week is yesterday. Tomorrow is tomorrow. Let's enjoy today.

I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.

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