Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Fakes/wannabes, gutless *&%#&($(%#(&#$%@&*(

The other day I was having a discussion with a couple of people about how difficult it is to find a submissive that is local to me. For one, they do not grow on trees. However, if they did I would have a freaking orchard of them.... actually, I think I would have one tree. Actually, there are plenty of submissives in this area. What makes it difficult for me, other then being picky is the fact they are either partnered with someone else, not my type or they consider me a fake/wannabe. I read quite often that female submissives get quite a few emails from men claiming to be Dominants that instantly think that she is a door mat, slut, whore, will submit to them from the first word etc etc. If I had a penny for every time I have heard, read or witnessed this, I would have a shit load of pennies. It is because of these assholes, that instantly assume that she is going to submit from the first contact, that make it even more difficult for a true Dominant like myself.

My approach is getting to know the person as well as the submissive. How am I to take you as my own if I do not know who you are both inside this lifestyle but also outside. I want to know what makes you, you. I want to know your likes, dislikes, how you think, how you feel, what makes you cry, laugh, get emotional etc etc, not only as a submissive but as a human being. Yes, I said it, a human. A woman. If you are true, genuine and sincere as a submissive, in time it will come out. I will Dominate with words, but I also Dominate with actions and feelings. I love the power, I love being able to Dominate just with a facial expression or body language. I love knowing I am in your head, your thoughts, your dreams constantly, always striving to be your best for me, not to disappoint me and do things that are pleasing to me. When you make me happy, I will make you happy. That is the kind of Dominant I am. That is my approach to Dominating you.

You have been reading my blog for sometime now, I think you know I am who I say I am. I have received many compliments about my blog and who I am. Thank you to all who have said those nice things. But damn, I am still without a submissive of my own. I have a couple of friends who say they will submit to me in play but I seek so much more. Don't get me wrong, I will play with them, but I am seeking something a little more permanent then a casual thing. I seek a submissive that I can call my own. A submissive who can be trained in the areas I desire. A submissive who will wear my collar. I know she is out there. When will she appear? Not sure, but I will continue to be patient and wait.

I have a profile on CollarMe.com and it amazes me the number of submissives on there who are collared/partnered with a Dom. I have made a couple of good friends on there who are collared. But the number of profiles that state "I am no longer searching" or some other line similar to that, amazes me. Why have a profile if you have already found your one? Have you found your one? Or are you stating that to keep the fakes/wannabes away? Damn, these fuckers are making it even more difficult for me. I see that on a profile and I tend to respect there wishes, there Dominants wishes and stay away.

OK, I need to get this off my chest. If you are offended by my words, then tough shit. Skip this paragraph and go to the next one. You god damned mother fucking dickless fucks need to go to hell and fry. Stop being fucking assholes to these women. They are here to find someone to bring out the submissive in them, to nurture and care for them and to take them to places they have never been in BDSM. So quit being fuck heads and either get lost, or learn who, what and how to Dominate. You god damn mother fucking dickless assholes.

OK, tangent over, I feel some better. My final thoughts are this. Too many times I hear, read or talk to someone in this lifestyle who always has a story along these lines of a run in with a fake/wannabe. I always say, if you feel uncomfortable, or your gut tells you this guy doesn't seem right, then come out and be honest and say so. No need to lead someone on. You will make yourself a better person if you are always honest not only with someone else, but also with yourself. Finding someone in this lifestyle that is compatible with you is difficult enough. Don't make it more difficult by bringing drama into the equation. If you express an honest thought to someone and they damn, belittle or chastise you for your own thoughts, is that someone you really want to be with? Is that what a Dominant is to you? Well if it is, then by all means, you have found the one you want. I know there are some out there who love to be humiliated, but shouldn't you at least wait until you are in a scene or partnered with that one?

Thank you to many people who have inspired this blog. Also, thank you for taking the time to read it. It is because of you I continue to blog. In the past few months since I started this, I have received many compliments from the few of you that do read it. I am considering going public with this blog. Right now I only invite people to read it. If you are sharing it with others, I thank you. One thing I ask, is more written feedback under the comments on the blog. I enjoy chatting with you about my blog, but I also like to see and read your comments and I feel others out there would enjoy seeing your comments as well. Hell, if you think I am wrong, off base or just rude and vulgar, say that. That is your right. I will not condemn you for your honesty and openness.

I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.


Diana said...

Thanks for sharing these thoughts...It's nice to know that some Dominants actually do perceive a submissive as a human. While I know that some subs are into degredation and whatnot, don't assume that until we've specified it.

Thank you for all of the great info and insight you've got on here!

Skye said...

There are so many trolls out there, that it is discouraging for those of us who are looking for the perfect match. And people new to the scene have no clue about the Trolls. Who is there to protect them?

I need to know someone and build the trust before I can allow myself to relax around them and be submissive. They also need to know my quirks and traits before trying to Dom me, or they'll scare me off or turn me against them.