Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Did you just fart?

I have to comment on something I read this morning. I saw where a submissive asked if anyone had ever experienced someone passing gas in the middle of a scene? Imagine a submissive over my knee, I am spanking her and suddenly she farts. How would I react? Would I laugh? Would I be grossed out? Would I scream a safe word? Is farting considered part of scat?

Well, a couple of thoughts on this. First reaction. IF a submissive should happen to pass gas, break wind, fart, expel flatulence... How would I react? Once I got over the initial shock, I would probably blister that ass. Grab a good handful of hair, snap that head back and spank that ass until my hand went numb. Farting is one thing. I can even tolerate a fart if we are spooning and I get a pseudo blowjob from it. But farting literally in my face? OH FUCK NO!!!!! The only thing that would save you from that is if you caused me to pass out there on the spot. Other wise I will show no mercy on your ass. You have heard of Fist's of Fury? Well it will be spanks o' plenty. My hand would work in such a blur that even slow motion photography would not be able to slow my hand down enough to be able to count. I would get in a hundred swats before your brain would even register that I have slapped your ass once. The time it takes that nerve to fire a message to your brain from your ass is long enough for me to get in a 1000 swats. Think I am kidding? Who wants to be the first to try and fart in my face? Anyone brave enough to test me and find out?

I know I am just as guilty as anyone else, maybe even more guilty of farting. What human does not fart. We ALL do. Even as a little kid when my mother tried to blame the dog when she farted, I KNEW she did it. One time she did it and blamed the dog. Only I shot back and said the dog is outside. The response then was, do not sass me followed by a back hand to the face. Or what about my grandmother who coughs when she farts to hide it. Although sometimes I wonder if she farts when she IS coughing. Instead of a "fartcoughcough" it is a "coughfartcoughcoughfartcough". Either way we ALL do it. I seem to fart more when I have been drinking a fair amount of beer. Hey, I need another beer. What!?! Out of beer? How many have we had? 2, 3, 30??? Anyhow, point being we all fart. Admit it or not. We do it.

Could it happen? Possibly. Hell, I think there has been once or twice that I had to suppress a fart while getting a blowjob. Would I blast away while you were down there? Probably not, unless you were into humiliation and then well, all bets are off. HOLY COW, I JUST FARTED IN YOUR FACE BITCH. HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?!?!!

Seriously though, I think the way the human body reacts to erotic stimulation would prevent that from happening. Your brain and body is going to be more focused on how you feel at that point. If your stomach fires a message to your brain saying "HEY I NEED TO FART" your brain is going to click ignore on the stomach and say not now, I am trying to re-route all nerve activity from the ass to ease the pain. Besides, right now the asshole is so clenched up, there is nothing that is going to be going out let alone coming in through there. So, this is your brain telling you, stomach, to shut the fuck up. But then again it has not happened to me, and to my knowledge no one has gotten close enough to cutting one loose. And no I am not interested in experiencing it either.

My final thought is this. We all are different inside and out. We might say we are a like, but truthfully we are all different. I would gladly have this conversation with someone who has vast knowledge of the human body. But I would rely more on actual real time, real world experiences to form an opinion on it. Just don't try to pass gas on me.

I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.


pru said...

HAHAHA.... omfg... you are funny and you know it... i seriously enjoy the way your mind works ;)

pru said...

omigod... ROFL... i am seriously enjoying the way you think... too funny