Seriously, who does hold the power? A submissive or bottom does. How so? Because they have a right to a safe word and to say stop or go. A Dominant simples’ carry out as instructed. WAIT!!!! Before you Dom’s who read this get your panties in a wad, let me go into more depth. Sheesh!!!
A submissive has the right to set limits, have a safe word and the right to say no. If you do NOT believe this, then stop reading right fucking now and click the red X in the upper right corner and get the fuck out of my blog you fucking candy ass pansy motherfucker. YOU are one of the abuser’s who give the rest of us true and genuine Dom’s a bad name and make it so fucking hard on us to find a submissive who needs someone like us. Where the fuck was I? Oh yes, a submissive has the power in a Dom/sub relationship.
Think about it. If you are “playing” with a submissive and they use their safe word, you are required by law, punishable under section 69, subsection 1234, paragraph ouch in the Dominants log star dated 41876453. Don’t believe me? Look it up. While you are at it, will you please water my money tree as you walk by? Thanks.
Ok, now on to the real education here. As a Dom/sub couple, you the Dominant should know that and practice safe words. Are they always used? No. But you should always have one. No if ands or ghetto butts about it. If you are a GOOD Dom, your submissive should never have to use it. IF you are a GREAT Dom, then you should be able to push your submissive right to the point of a safe word and back off. How else are you going to reach that inevitable peak of endorphin high if you do not? Both for you and your submissive.
The key to any and all of this is communication and honesty. I always want to talk about things. And many times I always get the “I do not cyber, do phone sex nor am I here to let you get off while I am talking about doing these things.” Get the fuck over yourself. I want to talk about and discuss these things to understand your head and how it processes information. What you are thinking during a scene. What emotions you are going through. So on and so forth. Am I going to get a hard on while having this discussion? I always do. But I will save that for the subbie to take care of, if it is a part of our scene we have discussed before hand. DAMN IT!!! Didn’t I just say communication and honesty are very important? Pay attention.
I always allow a submissive to tell me their limits. Tell me their wants and desires. Tell me the do’s and don’ts I might tweak what they say and give them for instances to clarify what they are saying or to open their eyes to a different avenue for them to explore. I have yet to have one tell me to get lost once I have explained my intentions of discussing past experiences. That is the ones who have let me explain it.
I always seek out a submissive who can and will talk openly and honestly. The ones who stay quite, keep their mouth shut and continue to be a “yes” subbie are more of a turn off then one who presents a challenge mentally for me. It is more of a turn on to have a submissive who will openly discuss and communicate with me.
Bottom line is this. Without communication and honesty there is no hope in sight for you. Communicate. Be open and honest. Be understanding. If you can exercise the patience and adopt these simple rules, you will enjoy some great times with one another. Other wise, call yourself a slave and be a fucking doormat. And I don’t want to hear you fucking complain one time about it when you are treated that way.
I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.