So here it is October and it has been sometime since my last post. A couple of weeks ago I ran into a couple of friends that are in the lifestyle. I haven't seen either one of them in sometime. It was really good to see them. Talking with her, she informed me of an accident she had had and how close she had cheated death. Since the accident, her and hubby had put the lifestyle on hold to focus on their life. Sometimes it takes a traumatic event for us all to put life in perspective and realize there is more to life. What really disturbed me is the help, concern, support etc they did NOT receive from our local lifestyle community. Here is a couple that is very active in the scene and no one offered anything. No home cooked meals, no offers to clean house or do laundry. Not even an offer of an ass to whip for release. Damn, what the hell has the world come to? I mean seriously?
I too have taken time for myself and in a sense taken a step back from the lifestyle. Do I miss it? Hell yes. Do I think about it all the time? Damn right. Do I have the desire to whip, flog and fuck with someones mind? Does a bear shit in the woods? Of course I fucking have the desire. At the end of the day we all have our lives. Some of us have families. Some of us have lives outside the lifestyle. We all have jobs. Sometimes life gets in the way of who and what we are, crave, desire etc. Sometimes we have to make time for ourselves. What really irritates the fuck out of me is that some people think they are hollier then though and if you go against them or fail to support them or even forbid, focus on YOURSELF, that they turn their back on you and in a sense cast you away. Perception is everything and this is how I perceive it.
If someone truly is your friend, then that person or persons will be there through thick and thin. Through all the drama, the fun times, the bad times, through all the bullshit. Hell, a good friend will bail your ass out of jail. The greatest friend will be sitting next to you in jail, punch you in the arm and say "Hell, we NEED to do THAT again!!!!!!" My point is friends never turn their backs on friends. I admit that I have not always been there for my friends, but it isn't because I didn't want to be there. True friends understand that there are times when you can not be there for them because you have your own life. True friends will simply say, "let me know if there is anything I can do, stay in touch, get back with me when you can etc etc" and be sincere when they tell you no worries, I will make do. True friends just understand.
I don't know how many people are reading my blog. I don't really give a fuck if there is only 2-3 of you or the while fucking world. This is MY blog. But, what I do care about are friends. Friends who will allow me to bitch, moan or praise myself without judgement. Friends who respect my opinion if it is different from theirs. I can not expect everyone to be like me, work like me, agree with everything etc. What I do expect is openness and honesty. Be open enough to accept me for who I am. Be honest enough to tell me if they disagree, but after it is all said and done, realize we are friends and sometimes friends just disagree.
I admit, I have turned my back on my friends. I have judged someone. I have sneered, shunned, even damned someone. I am by no means perfect. And you aren't either. None of us are. We all are of guilty of doing this at some point. Maybe not openly but in your mind you are. Shit happens. Life happens. Maturity is measured by how quick you realize your mistake, correct it and move forward. Maturity is not measured by how many times you have been around the block.
My final thought is this. Life is too damn short to go around with resentment, hurt, hard feelings grudges etc. Life is too damn short to allow others to be a negative force against you. Life is too short to allow yourself the pitfalls of someone else. Live your life for yourself. Your true friends will allow you to do that and be there when they can to support you. Even if their opinion or support differ from you and your view. Life is too short to have friends who simply don't give a fuck about you. Life is just too damn short.
I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.