Thursday, September 8, 2011

Mistakes and owning them

Recently I started conversing with a young woman here in town. So far on the phone and via text we seem to have some chemistry, share common interest in the same things both kink and vanilla which is a great thing. Yesterday as I was leaving work she was telling me about another Dom who has been after her and he will not take no for an answer. She went on to tell me she met him once and there just was no chemistry between them and she had been telling him to stop contacting her. However he seems he will not take no for an answer. So being the Domly one that I am, and seeing how her and I seem to be moving in the right direction, in an instant I instructed her to contact him and say “Fuck off.” She giggled slightly and I said in my stern Dom voice (ok all you subbie readers, stop giggling, you are ruining my train of thought here. I mean it, don’t make me… I will…. I am serious…. I’LL TAKE MY BELT OFF DAMN IT!!! Better, now sit still and keep your lips zipped) “Do you hear me laughing? I am very serious. Tell him to FUCK OFF! Better yet, give me his fucking number and I WILL tell him to FUCK OFF!!!”

At that point I could feel her sense of being change instantly. We just crossed over from the “get to know one another” stage to the “I AM DOM, HEAR ME ROAR like a kitten.” I hear more giggling damn it. In an instant she went from a bubbly, laughing, giggling, out going woman to a submissive so in need of control, discipline, structure and safety. Her reply, although some what hesitant, was a simple, “Yes Sir.” And of course, me being the nice Domly one that I am, (side stepping the lightening bolt), I replied good girl.

So, here I am feeling all powerful, Domly, and excited for this girl, I hurry off to exercise my masochist self with the Sadist from the bowels of hell trainer that I am paying. My work out was very good. I even asked him if he enjoyed inflicting the pain on me. So, after my hour of absorbing pain and putting my body through hell, I picked up my phone and find a couple of text messages from this girl. She was telling me she messed up at work today and got in trouble. I texted asking what she did, she told me then made another comment that it was not that big of a deal and does not know why her boss made such a fuss over it.

I am not going to keep going into great detail about the next phone conversation, but I believe I made my point with her. Because the only words to pass over her lips were Yes Sir. And several times she said those words.

A couple of points I want to make here about this chain of events. One, why the fuck do people have to be such assholes and not accept that the other person in this equation is not interested in you? This lifestyle is different on some parts, but on other parts it is just like a vanilla relationship. Seriously, lets be adult about it, accept what it is, and move the fuck on. Stop wasting the energy and MY OXYGEN to whine and cry about what do you mean youre not into me? I am into you. Or give me another chance, I can do things differently. Stop being a fucking cry baby, accept it and move on. Other wise I will shove my size 13 foot so far up your ass that the next time you sneeze, it will not be snot and boogers flying from your nose, but toe jam from my foot.

Second is why is it so hard to accept ownership of your mistakes. If you screw up, admit it, fix it, learn from it and move on. Don’t dwell on it. Don’t dance around it and hem and haw about it. Own it, cherish it, love it and try not to do it again. We all are human. We all make mistakes. Some just make them more than others. Not because they are better than you, but because they fix it and don’t make the same mistake twice. If you can learn to fix a mistake as fast as you make it, you can not only improve yourself but it also allows you to move past it and move on. Making mistakes is just part of life. And life is short enough as it is. Do you want to spend what precious time you have in life dwelling on mistakes? I sure as hell don’t.

With that said, I will end this by saying that life is what YOU make of it. Don’t like the way something is going? Change it. Stop whining and bitching about it. Change it. Fix it. Get over it. And get on with your life. Not everyone wants to have to put up with your mistakes. Not everyone wants to put up with your whiney, can not accept no ass. Remember, treat others the way you want to be treated. I hope that when I die, that I am remembered not for the guy who some perceived as an asshole, some hated me because I came across as mean and cold and others just really didn’t care. But I hope I remembered as the guy that was always honest, sometimes brutal, the guy who did not sugar coat things, and the guy at the end of the day was able to be remembered as someone everyone could say, “Ya know, he really wasn’t a bad guy after all.”


I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.


Alice said...

"Don’t like the way something is going? Change it. Stop whining and bitching about it. Change it. Fix it. Get over it. And get on with your life."

So well said! I know I've said something similar before, and I've needed it said to me too.

lil said...

Lol, in all fairness to me, it was really difficult not to laugh at that first paragraph.

In all seriousness though, I agree with the importance of owning your mistakes. If you can't accept them and admit to them, you can't learn how not to repeat them.

Of course, I'm still struggling with the fact that my aim for personal perfection isn't going to be met anytime soon lol. But at least I can admit it!

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, I guess I should keep it to myself that I think of you as this great, sweet, guy, kind of a gruff teddy bear.... no worries, i won't tell anyone.

{And i might have giggled a little bit too!}