Yesterday I was chatting with a friend and she asked me to write about cyber play and how some get into more the others. Well, here goes.....
Before there were chat rooms on the Internet, instant messaging and even texting there was the phone. I remember being a teen in high school and having a girl I lusted over. During the summers we would get on the phone at night and listen to one another say dirty things. Many times, we would just listen to the other do their thing and often times we would both fall asleep on the phone. Many nights I woke up to the sound of her soft steady breathing. I would gently kiss the phone and go back to sleep. When we would be together, neither of us had the guts to say or even discuss the same things we talked about on the phone. I never called a porn line to have a woman talk dirty to me. Why should I pay for it when I had her?
Then the internet came and I discovered chat rooms and instant messaging. With that came cyber sex. Being able to type dirty thoughts, and imagine what the she was doing on the other end. I don't know of anyone who has not had cyber sex. If they tell you they never have, take as many steps backwards as quickly as possible. Those hairs standing up on the back of your neck is the electricity in the air from the lightning bolt that is about to come down and strike that person.
Why are people so quick to type/text or even say things on the phone to another but when you are face to face, you are not so quick to discuss the same things. Just the other day I had this exact same conversation with another friend. It is because it is VERY EASY to hide behind the phone or computer monitor and say these things and not feel embarrassed or even rejection from the other when you say these things. In a sense, many people consider it taboo to think those thoughts, let alone say them in person. But taboo is what really turns everyones crank in one way or another. I admit, I am the same way. I am quick to text a dirty thought to a woman, but when I see that woman face to face, sometimes I have a hard time acting out that same thought. It happens. In our minds, we are thinking about that text, but for whatever reason, the fear in us prevents us from bringing it up.
I know many times you have read in my blog where I talk about communication. I expect it. I demand it. But even I fail at it sometimes. I am human after all. We all make mistakes. So fuck it. It happens. Besides, when you both are thinking the same thing. When you can see it in their eyes that they are thinking the same as you. Sometimes it is best left unsaid. Just makes the fantasy even more intense. In a sense, you are mind fucking that person, as they are mind fucking you. Hell, you are mind fucking yourself when the anxiety of it drives you mad with lust. It has happened to me. Does that make me a samasochists? A sadist and masochist in one? Inflicting mental and emotional pain on myself? I just heard a collective slap. By a show of hands, how many of you just slapped your foreheads and screamed "I shouldve had a V8?" Ok, maybe you didn't say the V8 but many of you subconsciously slapped your foreheads. Damn I love it when I am right. Hey, you don't like my ego, quit reading. No one is holding a gun to your head.
The negative aspect is some people turn out to be all talk. These people will not act out on those thoughts. Many people get online and chat with you pretending to be someone else. This goes along the lines of the fakes and wannabes. They are out there. They have been and will be forever. Not much we can do. You can talk a good game. But unless you act on it, it is just a fucking game. You want to play games with me? Sure, I will play. I love monopoly. If you want to play mind games with me, be ready to get your mind kicked. I do NOT lose at mind games.
My final thought is this. It is very easy to hide behind something and confess your thoughts and feelings. It is hard to look someone in the eyes and confess those same things. Nothing wrong with that. I use this blog to write about my experiences and my thoughts. After all, I just cant go out and strike up this sort of conversation with a stranger on the street. Maybe one stranger out of a hundred will listen to me. But a majority will look at me like I am 12 donuts short of a dozen.
Life is short. Have fun. And if you want to write/text or tell me over the phone your dirty and perverted thoughts, by all means do. I will even share some of my own.
Me
I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
The one that got away.....
Lately, my life has been on a roller coaster that I described in an earlier post. I want to thank everyone for taking the time to read my blog, commenting on posts and sending me well wishes. I have chatted/spoken with all of you and everyone agrees I should go public with my blog. I am going to post a link on my collar me profile and hope I gain more readers. Several of my posts as of late have been inspired by you, the readers. This post today is going to reflect on more experiences of my own.
When I first moved to Lexington, I didn't know a soul except for the people I worked with. I surfed the personal sites both lifestyle and vanilla seeking new friends. On one site, I started a friendship with a young woman in Northern Ky. We chatted a lot, both on the computer and then via phone. We formed an instant bond and after a time we decided to meet for the first time. I drove to her area, met her for dinner and enjoyed some laughs. We had instant chemistry. Eventually the day came we decided to push it farther and I went to her house. I admired her for her hard work and determination. Here was a 24yo young lady who was a new home owner and had drive and ambition to work and get what she wanted in life.
That night, we had fun with bondage, flogging and paddling. We also did a lot of sensation play while she was blindfolded. Ice cubes, wire brush, a horse brush and even my metal flogger. One thing in particular that stands out from that night was how she never hesitated to do anything I asked of her. I had her standing in the middle of the room, a large wooden dowel across her shoulders with her arms strapped to it. She looked as if she was on a cross, but without an upright. We used these very small clamps on her nipples. They looked very similar to a small stock. but instead of putting your head in, her nipple fit in their perfectly. Using the wing nuts to tighten the wood down made her nipple stand out. The look of pain in her eyes, her trying to breath through that pain, just fueled me on. Talk about my emotions feeding off another. I was on fire. My mind raced, my heart pumped and my grin was more evil then before. I remember using a wheel on her skin. Up and down her back, across her ass. Down her legs, picking up her foot, and running the wheel across the bottoms of her feet. As I came back up the front of her body, I had her spread her legs and ran the wheel across her smooth hairless crotch. Paying very close attention to running the wheel over her labia lips and across the hood of her clitoris. She was biting her lower lip so hard, I thought she was going to bite right through it. I noticed she had stopped breathing so as I stood, still running the wheel across her stomach, I whispered into her ear in a low husky voice "Do not stop breathing. Take a deep breath and enjoy the sensations." Her mouth flew open and inhaled deeply as I ran the wheel across her breasts. I removed the blindfold from her head and stared into her eyes. The fire and lust in her eyes was so intense. The look on her face was one I had never seen before. Animalistic does not even come close to describing it. I had stopped the wheel on her left nipple. She returned the look into my eyes and leaned forward to try and kiss me. When I pulled away, the evil smile on my face, I noticed she had pierced herself on the wheel. As I pulled the wheel away to look at the blood on the spike, she leaned forward, bent slightly and licked the blood from the spike. I turned away from her, placing the wheel on the table and reached for my knife.....
I am going to stop there. I don't want to tell everything about my adventures. Lets just say I made a HUGE mistake letting this one get away. Last I heard, she was married, had one kid with another on the way. I guess you could say that is the fish that got away.
Again, thank you all for reading my blog.
Me
I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.
When I first moved to Lexington, I didn't know a soul except for the people I worked with. I surfed the personal sites both lifestyle and vanilla seeking new friends. On one site, I started a friendship with a young woman in Northern Ky. We chatted a lot, both on the computer and then via phone. We formed an instant bond and after a time we decided to meet for the first time. I drove to her area, met her for dinner and enjoyed some laughs. We had instant chemistry. Eventually the day came we decided to push it farther and I went to her house. I admired her for her hard work and determination. Here was a 24yo young lady who was a new home owner and had drive and ambition to work and get what she wanted in life.
That night, we had fun with bondage, flogging and paddling. We also did a lot of sensation play while she was blindfolded. Ice cubes, wire brush, a horse brush and even my metal flogger. One thing in particular that stands out from that night was how she never hesitated to do anything I asked of her. I had her standing in the middle of the room, a large wooden dowel across her shoulders with her arms strapped to it. She looked as if she was on a cross, but without an upright. We used these very small clamps on her nipples. They looked very similar to a small stock. but instead of putting your head in, her nipple fit in their perfectly. Using the wing nuts to tighten the wood down made her nipple stand out. The look of pain in her eyes, her trying to breath through that pain, just fueled me on. Talk about my emotions feeding off another. I was on fire. My mind raced, my heart pumped and my grin was more evil then before. I remember using a wheel on her skin. Up and down her back, across her ass. Down her legs, picking up her foot, and running the wheel across the bottoms of her feet. As I came back up the front of her body, I had her spread her legs and ran the wheel across her smooth hairless crotch. Paying very close attention to running the wheel over her labia lips and across the hood of her clitoris. She was biting her lower lip so hard, I thought she was going to bite right through it. I noticed she had stopped breathing so as I stood, still running the wheel across her stomach, I whispered into her ear in a low husky voice "Do not stop breathing. Take a deep breath and enjoy the sensations." Her mouth flew open and inhaled deeply as I ran the wheel across her breasts. I removed the blindfold from her head and stared into her eyes. The fire and lust in her eyes was so intense. The look on her face was one I had never seen before. Animalistic does not even come close to describing it. I had stopped the wheel on her left nipple. She returned the look into my eyes and leaned forward to try and kiss me. When I pulled away, the evil smile on my face, I noticed she had pierced herself on the wheel. As I pulled the wheel away to look at the blood on the spike, she leaned forward, bent slightly and licked the blood from the spike. I turned away from her, placing the wheel on the table and reached for my knife.....
I am going to stop there. I don't want to tell everything about my adventures. Lets just say I made a HUGE mistake letting this one get away. Last I heard, she was married, had one kid with another on the way. I guess you could say that is the fish that got away.
Again, thank you all for reading my blog.
Me
I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Surrender part 2
This morning I engaged a friend in conversation about my previous post of surrendering vs submission. I think I totally blew it the first time. I examined it from a Dominant's perspective and not a submissives. She enlightened me on the submissive side of this topic. To her surrender is not giving herself up to another, but to herself. Surrendering to who/what she is. Surrendering to her feelings. Discovering she is a submissive and subcoming to that. Surrender through discovery.
In a sense I have surrendered myself to being a Dominant. I discovered many years ago about this lifestyle. I did some reading, talking with others, even personal exploration as a Dominant and as a submissive. I didn't know where I fit in, so I explored. It was at my first play party that someone confirmed what I felt and believed, that I was Dominant and not submissive. That I was not a switch. I was all Dominant and will always be Dominant. So I surrendered to my true feelings, my true calling as a Dominant.
In this sense surrendering is a subconscious act. Giving in to yourself and who you are. Many times a natural submissive will discover this lifestyle and it brings a feeling of being complete to their life. Or a natural Dominant for that matter. For example, I was just chatting with a friend yesterday, who is in this lifestyle and she commented about cooking dinner and being a friend to another younger submissive. She commented, "that's the mother hen in me" A typical natural response to life, then discovered, that there is a name for that. Submission.
My final thought is this. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I am/was stupid for not thinking of this. When I was originally asked to blog about this, I was closed/narrow minded and only could think of the negative aspect of it. Instead, I did not consider the positive side. Thank you for telling me the positive side. It is nice to have friends.
I am always willing to listen, converse, banter, debate etc with someone as long as it is done in an intelligent manner. Please, do not be afraid to message me or comment on any of my postings. After all, I don't bite...... hard.
Me
I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.
In a sense I have surrendered myself to being a Dominant. I discovered many years ago about this lifestyle. I did some reading, talking with others, even personal exploration as a Dominant and as a submissive. I didn't know where I fit in, so I explored. It was at my first play party that someone confirmed what I felt and believed, that I was Dominant and not submissive. That I was not a switch. I was all Dominant and will always be Dominant. So I surrendered to my true feelings, my true calling as a Dominant.
In this sense surrendering is a subconscious act. Giving in to yourself and who you are. Many times a natural submissive will discover this lifestyle and it brings a feeling of being complete to their life. Or a natural Dominant for that matter. For example, I was just chatting with a friend yesterday, who is in this lifestyle and she commented about cooking dinner and being a friend to another younger submissive. She commented, "that's the mother hen in me" A typical natural response to life, then discovered, that there is a name for that. Submission.
My final thought is this. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I am/was stupid for not thinking of this. When I was originally asked to blog about this, I was closed/narrow minded and only could think of the negative aspect of it. Instead, I did not consider the positive side. Thank you for telling me the positive side. It is nice to have friends.
I am always willing to listen, converse, banter, debate etc with someone as long as it is done in an intelligent manner. Please, do not be afraid to message me or comment on any of my postings. After all, I don't bite...... hard.
Me
I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Effective punishment
Last night I was thinking about how to be effective and achieve the desired result when punishing someone in this lifestyle. A couple of weeks ago I met a new friend. She is very new to the lifestyle and I have been offering some advice and guidance to her. Steering her away from the trolls, the fakes and the abusers. During that time she has asked me several questions, advice and even asked if I would show her somethings. I am always willing to discuss this lifestyle with anyone. Especially the new ones who are just finding themselves but have too many questions and no answers. Some questions are as simple as, "What is a safe word?" to a little more complicated to "How do I know what I want in this lifestyle?"
One thing I have done my best to get her to understand is honesty and communication are the most important things. I truly believe a submissive should be able to openly communicate with their Dom/Domme. Without this communication, little things could be left out that could turn out to be huge issues if not discussed. I always impress on others that the only stupid question is the one you DON'T ask.
So, that brings me to this point. The other day I was texting with this new sub. She told me she was bored and was sending questions into an open posting forum on the internet. She always ask me first, "may I ask a question?" And I always respond in a positive way. "Sure" or "Ask" Well this day she tells me she has been on the forum and asked a question but was not liking the responses she was getting. I asked her what the question was and she refused to tell me. Long story short, I got upset and told her not to contact me for a couple of days. She is new and still shy in asking me questions. But don't bait me like that and then refuse to tell me.
So this brings me to the reason for this post. An effective way to administer punishment to get your point across. Many times I see a submissive act out in some way because they seek attention and "punishment" Instead of coming right out and asking for a flogging, a spanking or anything else they love and desire, they tend to act out in hopes they will get "in trouble" and achieve the result they seek. Well, in my eyes, and I think there are many of you who will agree, that this is not the way to get what you seek. Last time I checked, I am the Dominant. You will get what you want when I want to give it to you. The dog wags the tail, not the tail wagging the dog.
My most effective punishment is simply ignoring them. I am hearing a lot of teeth grinding and my monitor is filling with smoke. "I hate to be ignored!" Duh shit. That is why it is so effective. But it sure as hell gets my point across doesn't it? Being ignored once should convince you to not screw up again. Right? I thought so. Damn I love it when I am right. I know I blogged before about a different punishment with your back against the wall and 2 glasses of water. I am not saying ignoring you is my ONLY punishment I can and will use. I am saying this is the most effective. I feel the punishment should fit the crime.
Now there are times when I will and have simply whipped an ass to enforce my point but that really could not be a true punishment. For example, if you are given some basic rules to memorize and after being reminded of those rules because you "forgot" that rule, then you need re-enforcement on that or those rules.
My final thought is this. If you want/need a whipping, flogging, spanking, paddling etc, I would prefer you come to me and ask. Or better yet, beg. I love a beggar. Do not feel you should act out in hopes you will get that punishment. Again, communicate. For those of you who are keeping track of my rules. Rule #2 is communication. I use it and I expect it in return.
Me
I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.
One thing I have done my best to get her to understand is honesty and communication are the most important things. I truly believe a submissive should be able to openly communicate with their Dom/Domme. Without this communication, little things could be left out that could turn out to be huge issues if not discussed. I always impress on others that the only stupid question is the one you DON'T ask.
So, that brings me to this point. The other day I was texting with this new sub. She told me she was bored and was sending questions into an open posting forum on the internet. She always ask me first, "may I ask a question?" And I always respond in a positive way. "Sure" or "Ask" Well this day she tells me she has been on the forum and asked a question but was not liking the responses she was getting. I asked her what the question was and she refused to tell me. Long story short, I got upset and told her not to contact me for a couple of days. She is new and still shy in asking me questions. But don't bait me like that and then refuse to tell me.
So this brings me to the reason for this post. An effective way to administer punishment to get your point across. Many times I see a submissive act out in some way because they seek attention and "punishment" Instead of coming right out and asking for a flogging, a spanking or anything else they love and desire, they tend to act out in hopes they will get "in trouble" and achieve the result they seek. Well, in my eyes, and I think there are many of you who will agree, that this is not the way to get what you seek. Last time I checked, I am the Dominant. You will get what you want when I want to give it to you. The dog wags the tail, not the tail wagging the dog.
My most effective punishment is simply ignoring them. I am hearing a lot of teeth grinding and my monitor is filling with smoke. "I hate to be ignored!" Duh shit. That is why it is so effective. But it sure as hell gets my point across doesn't it? Being ignored once should convince you to not screw up again. Right? I thought so. Damn I love it when I am right. I know I blogged before about a different punishment with your back against the wall and 2 glasses of water. I am not saying ignoring you is my ONLY punishment I can and will use. I am saying this is the most effective. I feel the punishment should fit the crime.
Now there are times when I will and have simply whipped an ass to enforce my point but that really could not be a true punishment. For example, if you are given some basic rules to memorize and after being reminded of those rules because you "forgot" that rule, then you need re-enforcement on that or those rules.
My final thought is this. If you want/need a whipping, flogging, spanking, paddling etc, I would prefer you come to me and ask. Or better yet, beg. I love a beggar. Do not feel you should act out in hopes you will get that punishment. Again, communicate. For those of you who are keeping track of my rules. Rule #2 is communication. I use it and I expect it in return.
Me
I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Reading someone.
OMG..... ANOTHER POST??? 3 in one day?????
Yes it is. I got to thinking about the soccer mom thing and something triggered in me. There is a "soccer mom" I know and every time I see her at a ball game or out and about, I tell myself. Something about this woman intrigues me. I have a feeling she is submissive. I remember once someone telling me about biblical submission. A woman is a submissive to her husband who is defined as the lord and master of his home. Now that I think about her, I truly believe this is her. She is a beautiful mom. A MILF by definition in my book. Now I wonder if she knows anything about my kind of submission? Maybe it is time to start dropping hints and see what happens.
I am sure some of you are asking, "How does he know this? My freakdar never picks up on this." My wife asks all the times. 9 out of 10 times I am right as to whether that person is a freak or not. Call it intuition. Same as I can tell when someone is thinking about something. Its a blessing but also a curse. The ability to read another person is HUGE in this lifestyle. As a Dominant, if I am unable to read the other, how do I know to push farther, to stop or better yet, to explore?
Its not always words or a smile or even a wink. Look for facial expressions. Change in color of their skin. Their eyes. Are they fidgeting? Leg bouncing? Shallow breathing? I'm not going to give away ALL of my secretes, but the next time you are with someone, study everything about them except their words. But pay attention to what they are saying. For example "I like to spank others" coupled with a wink, or a broad car salesman smile could mean they thinking that a smack on the ass while in the doggie position is kinky. How ever, if they wink, provide a stern look, sit forward in their chair or even change the tone in their voice might indicate they are a little more in tune to the lifestyle.
My final thoughts on this subject is that you should always be aware of the person you are conversing with. Watch their body language, listen for the tone in their voice. Even look into their eyes. You never know what you will find.
Me
I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.
Yes it is. I got to thinking about the soccer mom thing and something triggered in me. There is a "soccer mom" I know and every time I see her at a ball game or out and about, I tell myself. Something about this woman intrigues me.
I am sure some of you are asking, "How does he know this? My freakdar never picks up on this." My wife asks all the times. 9 out of 10 times I am right as to whether that person is a freak or not. Call it intuition. Same as I can tell when someone is thinking about something. Its a blessing but also a curse. The ability to read another person is HUGE in this lifestyle. As a Dominant, if I am unable to read the other, how do I know to push farther, to stop or better yet, to explore?
Its not always words or a smile or even a wink. Look for facial expressions. Change in color of their skin. Their eyes. Are they fidgeting? Leg bouncing? Shallow breathing? I'm not going to give away ALL of my secretes, but the next time you are with someone, study everything about them except their words. But pay attention to what they are saying. For example "I like to spank others" coupled with a wink, or a broad car salesman smile could mean they thinking that a smack on the ass while in the doggie position is kinky. How ever, if they wink, provide a stern look, sit forward in their chair or even change the tone in their voice might indicate they are a little more in tune to the lifestyle.
My final thoughts on this subject is that you should always be aware of the person you are conversing with. Watch their body language, listen for the tone in their voice. Even look into their eyes. You never know what you will find.
Me
I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.
Surrendering vs submitting
Wow, whod a thunk. 2 posts in one day. Go figure.
A friend I know asked me to write about submitting versus surrendering. I will take my best shot at it. At first, the definition of surrender is as follows from Webster's
sur-ren-der /səˈrɛndər/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [suh-ren-der] Show IPA Pronunciation
–verb (used with object)
1. to yield (something) to the possession or power of another; deliver up possession of on demand or under duress: to surrender the fort to the enemy; to surrender the stolen goods to the police.
2. to give (oneself) up, as to the police.
3. to give (oneself) up to some influence, course, emotion, etc.: He surrendered himself to a life of hardship.
4. to give up, abandon, or relinquish (comfort, hope, etc.).
5. to yield or resign (an office, privilege, etc.) in favor of another.
So by definition surrender is to give up, to yield. So using surrender in BDSM would tell me that you are surrendering yourself to another in power, control, etc. However submission is just the opposite. In submission, you submit to another, in a preagreed upon aspect.
Surrendering would be giving it all up. Just as #4 in the definition states, "give up, abandon or relinquish. Surrender yourself to another. You could classify surrender and slavery as the same. A slave would have no rights. No say in what is happening. No limits.
Submitting is just that, submitting to another but with limits defined and respected. I know it sounds like I am repeating myself, but obviously to my friend this is something that is troubling to her. A submissive has the rights to limits, safe words and some sort of equality with their partner.
Is it possible to surrender and submit at the same time? Well, possibly. You can surrender your submission to another, but you are still submitting to that person. If we were to flip the question and ask, "will you submit to surrendering to me?" that is a contradiction in terms.
Surrendering could be defined in many ways. Now that I take a moment and think about it. I
have a few other points. I know a couple of moms who surrender themselves to a life of house work, being a soccer mom, cooking, classroom mom etc. That doesn't make them any less then anyone else. They choose to surrender. Maybe surrender is voluntary. You are willingly to give up with no rights or say as to what will happen. Where as submit or submission is involuntary. For example, you willingly submit to another with limits. But you can surrender yourself to slavery with no limits.
I hope this helps my friend out. This is such a broad subject to talk about. With some more defined areas as to where someone is submitting or surrendering, I could be more specific.
Me
I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.
A friend I know asked me to write about submitting versus surrendering. I will take my best shot at it. At first, the definition of surrender is as follows from Webster's
sur-ren-der /səˈrɛndər/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [suh-ren-der] Show IPA Pronunciation
–verb (used with object)
1. to yield (something) to the possession or power of another; deliver up possession of on demand or under duress: to surrender the fort to the enemy; to surrender the stolen goods to the police.
2. to give (oneself) up, as to the police.
3. to give (oneself) up to some influence, course, emotion, etc.: He surrendered himself to a life of hardship.
4. to give up, abandon, or relinquish (comfort, hope, etc.).
5. to yield or resign (an office, privilege, etc.) in favor of another.
So by definition surrender is to give up, to yield. So using surrender in BDSM would tell me that you are surrendering yourself to another in power, control, etc. However submission is just the opposite. In submission, you submit to another, in a preagreed upon aspect.
Surrendering would be giving it all up. Just as #4 in the definition states, "give up, abandon or relinquish. Surrender yourself to another. You could classify surrender and slavery as the same. A slave would have no rights. No say in what is happening. No limits.
Submitting is just that, submitting to another but with limits defined and respected. I know it sounds like I am repeating myself, but obviously to my friend this is something that is troubling to her. A submissive has the rights to limits, safe words and some sort of equality with their partner.
Is it possible to surrender and submit at the same time? Well, possibly. You can surrender your submission to another, but you are still submitting to that person. If we were to flip the question and ask, "will you submit to surrendering to me?" that is a contradiction in terms.
Surrendering could be defined in many ways. Now that I take a moment and think about it. I
have a few other points. I know a couple of moms who surrender themselves to a life of house work, being a soccer mom, cooking, classroom mom etc. That doesn't make them any less then anyone else. They choose to surrender. Maybe surrender is voluntary. You are willingly to give up with no rights or say as to what will happen. Where as submit or submission is involuntary. For example, you willingly submit to another with limits. But you can surrender yourself to slavery with no limits.
I hope this helps my friend out. This is such a broad subject to talk about. With some more defined areas as to where someone is submitting or surrendering, I could be more specific.
Me
I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.
Today is yesterday, today is the new day.
Last week was an emotional week for me. I took some time to myself this past weekend to reflect on last week. Life is a roller coaster. At the beginning of the ride, we are on the track, slowly ascending to the top. The anticipation of what is to come is both scary and exciting. Your mouth might get dry, or your hands sweaty and clammy. I tend to look side to side and take in the scenery. Looking out over the park. Over the tree tops, see other rides, try to look down and see whats below me. Then you reach that peak. I like to sit in the back so I can watch what is ahead of me. Seeing the cars in front of me disappearing over the top of the first hill, sitting up straight, feeling the car jerk, I mumble to my self..... "Oh yea, here we go!"
Then the thrill of the ride is on, the first downhill, the speed, gravity pulling you back down and to the side. Squeezing the person next to me, that poor person. Going through the twist and turns, then back up a hill, preparing for the next downhill plunge. Maybe a loop is coming. I am guilty of grabbing the bar many times throughout the ride to hold on. Cursing, closing my eyes and sometimes saying to myself, "its only a ride, no need to be scared!" Before you know it, the ride is over. You are coming back to the start, the brakes on the ride jerking you to a top. The bar raises, you step out and look back at the car. "Did I leave anything behind? Wallet? Sunglasses? A turd? " If it is a good ride, your leg might be shaking, or your stomach is still in the loop, ready to hurl your lunch.
Our lives are like this. One event is equal to one ride. Sometimes thrilling and exciting. Sometimes it is a bore. Sometimes you hurl or it was a bad experience. But it never fails, you will feel the same each and every time that event comes around. Meeting someone new for the first time. Attending your first munch or play party. The first time you participate in a scene. Life not going your way and bringing you a bad day. Whatever it is, we all experience emotional roller coasters.
I know I started this blog as a place for me to share my experiences, thoughts, opinions and ideas. Last weeks post was more of a vent for me. Last week was a roller coaster I never want to get back on. My fear is not the ride itself. My fear is I know that is not the last time I will be on that ride. I believe in life is what you make of it. I believe we can not allow ourselves to constantly be in a negative downward spiral. We will have those times where we feel like the world is collapsing on us. When it feels like the walls are closing in. But until you stand up, put out your arms, and scream, ENOUGH!!!!!!!, life will continue to bring you down.
My final thought it this. Do not live in the past, you can not change what has already been done. Do not live in the future for we do not know what it will bring us. Live for today. Enjoy today. Learn from the past so you do not make that mistake in the future. Learn from the past so it will allow you to enjoy today. What you do today determines your tomorrow. It is time to stand up and hold your arms out. Scream. Shout. Tell those walls it is time to open up.
I know I did, and today I am proof that those walls will open up. Today is here. Yesterday is gone. Today of last week is yesterday. Tomorrow is tomorrow. Let's enjoy today.
Me
I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.
Then the thrill of the ride is on, the first downhill, the speed, gravity pulling you back down and to the side. Squeezing the person next to me, that poor person. Going through the twist and turns, then back up a hill, preparing for the next downhill plunge. Maybe a loop is coming. I am guilty of grabbing the bar many times throughout the ride to hold on. Cursing, closing my eyes and sometimes saying to myself, "its only a ride, no need to be scared!" Before you know it, the ride is over. You are coming back to the start, the brakes on the ride jerking you to a top. The bar raises, you step out and look back at the car. "Did I leave anything behind? Wallet? Sunglasses? A turd? " If it is a good ride, your leg might be shaking, or your stomach is still in the loop, ready to hurl your lunch.
Our lives are like this. One event is equal to one ride. Sometimes thrilling and exciting. Sometimes it is a bore. Sometimes you hurl or it was a bad experience. But it never fails, you will feel the same each and every time that event comes around. Meeting someone new for the first time. Attending your first munch or play party. The first time you participate in a scene. Life not going your way and bringing you a bad day. Whatever it is, we all experience emotional roller coasters.
I know I started this blog as a place for me to share my experiences, thoughts, opinions and ideas. Last weeks post was more of a vent for me. Last week was a roller coaster I never want to get back on. My fear is not the ride itself. My fear is I know that is not the last time I will be on that ride. I believe in life is what you make of it. I believe we can not allow ourselves to constantly be in a negative downward spiral. We will have those times where we feel like the world is collapsing on us. When it feels like the walls are closing in. But until you stand up, put out your arms, and scream, ENOUGH!!!!!!!, life will continue to bring you down.
My final thought it this. Do not live in the past, you can not change what has already been done. Do not live in the future for we do not know what it will bring us. Live for today. Enjoy today. Learn from the past so you do not make that mistake in the future. Learn from the past so it will allow you to enjoy today. What you do today determines your tomorrow. It is time to stand up and hold your arms out. Scream. Shout. Tell those walls it is time to open up.
I know I did, and today I am proof that those walls will open up. Today is here. Yesterday is gone. Today of last week is yesterday. Tomorrow is tomorrow. Let's enjoy today.
Me
I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.
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