Thursday, June 30, 2011
Contacting me
I owe a few people an apology. I just not checked my email and noticed I had a few emails from people seeking advice. I want you to know I am sorry, and I am responding to your email.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
8 year old Dominant?!?!?!
Ok, I blogged once before that I thought my first Dominant experience was when I was 18 or 19. I lied. Something triggered a memory this morning and I have been a Dominant as far back as when I was 8. YES 8!!!! Now before you get all perverted on me and scream kiddie porn, read the rest of the happenings.
When I was 8, the ‘rents went out one night and they hired a babysitter. She was a neighborhood kid, about 15 or 16. Not someone I normally hung out with for obvious reasons. Although, to go back then with the knowledge I have now…. Damn I would have been a stud at the age of 8. LOL. Back to the story. This was not her first time babysitting me so it was all good. This particular time I remember being bored. Nothing on TV to watch, no movie or anything. So I shyly asked her if she wanted to play a game. (The more I type this, the more vivid the memory is. WEG) I remember being shy, not knowing “how” to ask or anything. She pushed me and I finally said, lets play a made up game called “kidnap”. Ok you fuckers, when you are done laughing I will continue.Got it all out? Well, hurry the fuck up. Ya know, fuck it, go laugh in the corner while I finish.
So, I asked, “wanna play kidnap?” She agreed and asked what she needed to do. I said I would sneak up behind her and put my hand around her mouth and she would pretend to go to sleep. Hey, it happened on TV that way. Remember, I was 8 at the time. So, I walked up behind her, put my hand over her mouth and she went to sleep. Well, I couldn’t drag her anywhere so I asked her to get up and walk to the bedroom where she laid down on the bed and “went back to sleep.”
From there instinct took over. I remember finding some rope and tying her hands to the bed post. Afterwards, while I looked at her I thought, what do I do now? Hell, here I am 3 minutes into my game and didn’t know what to do. So I pulled her shirt up over her face exposing her bra and tits. Yes, that’s right fuckers. I was 8 and on second base. BOOYAH!!!! But, also, being 8, I did not know what the fuck to do from that point. DAMNIT!!!!! I wish I knew then what I know now. I would have done so much more. Instead, after a few minutes of staring at her chest, I pulled her shirt down and untied her. Told her I did not know what else to do. Looking back…. WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT I WAS!!!!! Damn, here I was 8, had a 16yo girl half naked and tied to my bed. I could have been dipping my wick.
Go ahead and laugh. But guess what. I was 8 and on second base. You were 8 and playing with GI Joe and the kung fu grip, or riding your bike in the neighborhood. So, your laughter is jealousy because I was getting tit while you didn’t have a fucking clue about girls. SO KISS MY ASS!!!!! HA!!!!
Thus, my earliest experience with BDSM. Damn, can I claim that I have been experimenting with BDSM for 30 years??? Ya never know. I just might.
Anyone wanna play kidnap?????? WEG
Me
I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.
When I was 8, the ‘rents went out one night and they hired a babysitter. She was a neighborhood kid, about 15 or 16. Not someone I normally hung out with for obvious reasons. Although, to go back then with the knowledge I have now…. Damn I would have been a stud at the age of 8. LOL. Back to the story. This was not her first time babysitting me so it was all good. This particular time I remember being bored. Nothing on TV to watch, no movie or anything. So I shyly asked her if she wanted to play a game. (The more I type this, the more vivid the memory is. WEG) I remember being shy, not knowing “how” to ask or anything. She pushed me and I finally said, lets play a made up game called “kidnap”. Ok you fuckers, when you are done laughing I will continue.
So, I asked, “wanna play kidnap?” She agreed and asked what she needed to do. I said I would sneak up behind her and put my hand around her mouth and she would pretend to go to sleep. Hey, it happened on TV that way. Remember, I was 8 at the time. So, I walked up behind her, put my hand over her mouth and she went to sleep. Well, I couldn’t drag her anywhere so I asked her to get up and walk to the bedroom where she laid down on the bed and “went back to sleep.”
From there instinct took over. I remember finding some rope and tying her hands to the bed post. Afterwards, while I looked at her I thought, what do I do now? Hell, here I am 3 minutes into my game and didn’t know what to do. So I pulled her shirt up over her face exposing her bra and tits. Yes, that’s right fuckers. I was 8 and on second base. BOOYAH!!!! But, also, being 8, I did not know what the fuck to do from that point. DAMNIT!!!!! I wish I knew then what I know now. I would have done so much more. Instead, after a few minutes of staring at her chest, I pulled her shirt down and untied her. Told her I did not know what else to do. Looking back…. WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT I WAS!!!!! Damn, here I was 8, had a 16yo girl half naked and tied to my bed. I could have been dipping my wick.
Go ahead and laugh. But guess what. I was 8 and on second base. You were 8 and playing with GI Joe and the kung fu grip, or riding your bike in the neighborhood. So, your laughter is jealousy because I was getting tit while you didn’t have a fucking clue about girls. SO KISS MY ASS!!!!! HA!!!!
Thus, my earliest experience with BDSM. Damn, can I claim that I have been experimenting with BDSM for 30 years??? Ya never know. I just might.
Anyone wanna play kidnap?????? WEG
Me
I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Erotic Story time
I was a young kid working at the mall in a locally owned shoe store. I admit, I thought it was a dream job for me. I mean where else can a guy with a foot, high heel and hose fetish earn money and get off at the same time? Well, after a few days on the job I started to realize it wasn’t so much of a dream job as a pain in the ass. I had yet to see any women come in that mirrored the ones I had seen countless times on the internet at a few of the porn sites I visited on a regular basis. Instead, it was screaming kids, running around shoes out, or wanting a balloon, or it was some old guy needing a new pair of hiking boots. During the slow time, I spent it wondering around the display areas, dusting the shelves or the patent leather shoes with the 4in heels. I busied myself so others wouldn’t know about my fetish. Although I think there are several people who “know”.
I had been on the job for about 3 months and had only 3 women come in that fit my fantasy. Older working women who had a day job, probably sitting behind a desk in the business dress and heels answering the phone, or typing up memos that their boss had dictated to them. But one day this one lady walked in and she turned out to be the one I have fantasized about all the time. She stood about 5’10” in her heels. She wore a black skirt dark red blouse. She had on a black jacket with a single strand of pearls around her neck. Dark wavy hair cascaded over her shoulders and down her back. Her makeup was perfect. Smooth skin, supple lips with a dark shade of lipstick. Long eye lashes, eye brows shaped perfectly to accentuate her brown almond shaped eyes. She wore simple hoop ear rings only visible when she turned her head and they peeked out from her thick hair. Her names were just long enough to allow her to work and perform tasks and down in a French manicure.
She came in and walked straight to my favorite part of the store. The display of high heels that I dusted on a daily basis. Walk around another display I busied myself dusting hiking boots and did my best to keep from staring at her. But I couldn’t help myself. I kept staring at her gorgeous legs incased in smoke colored hose. Those 4in black stiletto high heels she wore were a part of every fantasy I had. I felt my mouth going dry. I swallowed once. I swallowed twice. But it just felt like I was trying to swallow sand paper. I used my dry tongue and moved it about my teeth, trying to open up my saliva glands and produce some sort of wetness in my mouth. And at that same time, I felt that familiar twitch in my pants. Pushing my pelvis forward, I mashed my hardening cock against the display. Feeling the heat radiating from my cock as it touched moved inside my underwear only caused my mind to go into over drive and all I could think about was running my hands up and down her smooth hose covered legs.
I closed my eyes, took in a deep breath and tried to gather myself. I was 30 minutes from leaving for the day, and it would look awfully suspicious to my boss if I had to duck into the restroom for a few minutes this close to quitting time. When I opened my eyes, I was startled because standing before me was the goddess of my fantasies. She cleared her throat and in an irritated tone she snapped at me to fetch her a size 7 in the cherry red stiletto she held in her out stretched hand. Fumbling around, I knocked over the display of boots I had been pushing on. Quickly bending over to pick up the boots, I looked up at her, my face flush red with embarrassment and smiled and said I would get right on that.
She had shifted her feet and now stood with her right foot slightly more forward, her left hand on her hip and her right hand with the sexy manicured nails clutching the heel and thrusting it towards me. “Come on sugar, I don’t have all day.”
I stood up quickly, took the shoe from her and hurried off to the back. I knew exactly where those shoes were. I had just checked them right after lunch to make sure they were neatly stacked, and numerically stacked up. It was my way of hanging around those shoes all the time. Reaching for the 7’s. right in the middle of the stack, I pulled it out and before I knew it, I was buried in a mountain of boxes. My boss hurried into the back to find me restacking the boxes. He barked at me, “What the hell is going on back here? All you alright?” I mumbled under my breath I was fine and hurried to restack the boxes on the shelf so I could get back out there to her.
When I went back out front, I looked around her for, fearing she had left since it took me so long to restack the boxes. Just as I felt the life leave my body, I saw her stand back up as she had bent over to pick up a boot at the display I had knocked over. I rushed over to her with the box in hand and asked if she needed help trying them on to ensure they fit. She gave me a half smile as her eyes looked me up and down and then snorted, “sure, why not sugar, you’re cute enough.” She walked past me and at that moment I caught a whiff of her perfume that instantly filled my nostrils and caused me to turn and float after her. She walked right over to one of the single seats next to the high heel display and sat down. Crossing her legs, her skirt rode up just enough to expose some of her thigh and more of her hose. I pulled my stool up and sat down. Before I could get situated, she uncrossed her legs and placed her right foot on my thigh. Before I could react, I made eye contact with this goddess before me and noticed that same sly crooked smile on her face. As I reached for her shoe, I firmly grasped her calf in one hand and the heel of her shoe with the other. Slipping the shoe off, I noticed her toes had the same French tips as her fingers. Placing her foot back down on my thigh, I twisted for the box and grabbed the shoe I was going to place on her foot. At that same time, her foot slipped from my thigh and landed in my crotch. I tried to scoot backwards in an attempt to keep her foot off of my cock which had begun to harden once again only to find myself unable to because of the display behind me. Looking up at her again, she cocked one eyebrow eye and winked at me. She wiggled her toes a couple times on the head of my cock, before dragging the side of her foot back up my thigh. I shifted in my seat, cleared my throat and made the best attempt I could at putting the new shoe on her foot.
Once it was on, she quickly switched her feet and placed her other foot on my opposite thigh. Again, I reached for her calf, raised her leg and removed her shoe. Reaching for the other shoe again, her foot went straight to my crotch. Only this time instead of wiggling her toes, she actually stroked my cock with her foot. I was so close to orgasm, I had to grab her foot and pull it away to keep from shooting off in my pants. Placing her other foot in the shoe, I noticed a slight whimper escape from her mouth as she said in a pouting way, “Aww, are we close to losing it?”
As she went to stand I noticed her skirt had ridden up a little higher exposing the tops of her stockings and garter belt. As she pulled her skirt down, she gave a slight wiggle, grabbed her purse and said to me over her shoulder, I will wear them home. Hurrying to put her other shoes in the box and off to ring up her shoes, I could help but admire her old shoes. Although they were not old at all. Barely any scuff marks at all on these shoes. In fact these shoes don’t even look broken in. I heard her clear her throat and tell me to hurry up. I quickly throw the shoes in the box and hurry to ring her up. She flips out a credit card for her sale and with it I notice a piece of paper. Unfolding the paper, I am thinking it is a coupon, but I notice some hand writing. I had to read it three times to make sure I was reading what I was reading. It stated to meet her in the main parking lot of the mall, she will be in a black convertible. As she scribbled her signature, she whispered to me, “Don’t be long”
I finished up the sale, closed out and clocked out for the day and hurried out to the parking lot. Her car was very easy to spot. Just look for the top down and the dark headed goddess. As I approached her car, she pulled out a cigarette, put it between her lips and lit it. Taking a long deep drag of it she looked at me and told me to pull my cock out. Not believing what I just heard, I just stood there in silence not knowing what to do. She said it again, except this time she reached out and grabbed for my cock through my pants. The glowing tip of her cigarette just inches from my pants as it was pinched between her two fingers of the same hand that was now squeezing and stroking my cock. Looking at me she said in her sultry voice, “Sugar, if you don’t want to make a mess in your pants, you best pull your cock out and let me stroke it for you.” As I reached for my zipper, I looked around the parking lot to make sure no one could see what was about to happen.
At this point, I did not really care anymore. My stiff cock was in her hand and she was stroking it gently for me. Taking another drag on her cigarette, she stroked faster and looked up at me. “Sugar, I want you to shoot your hot cum on my legs.” Before she could take another drag, my cum was exploding from my cock and not only landing across her stockings, but on her skirt, on her blouse and even across the console of her car. With one final squeeze at the base of my cock and pulling the last few drops from me and into the palm of her hand, she started her car up and proceeding to back out and leave me literally standing there with my cock out. She handed me a business card and said call me sometime right before she pulled away and zipped out of my life just as quickly as she came in.
I had been on the job for about 3 months and had only 3 women come in that fit my fantasy. Older working women who had a day job, probably sitting behind a desk in the business dress and heels answering the phone, or typing up memos that their boss had dictated to them. But one day this one lady walked in and she turned out to be the one I have fantasized about all the time. She stood about 5’10” in her heels. She wore a black skirt dark red blouse. She had on a black jacket with a single strand of pearls around her neck. Dark wavy hair cascaded over her shoulders and down her back. Her makeup was perfect. Smooth skin, supple lips with a dark shade of lipstick. Long eye lashes, eye brows shaped perfectly to accentuate her brown almond shaped eyes. She wore simple hoop ear rings only visible when she turned her head and they peeked out from her thick hair. Her names were just long enough to allow her to work and perform tasks and down in a French manicure.
She came in and walked straight to my favorite part of the store. The display of high heels that I dusted on a daily basis. Walk around another display I busied myself dusting hiking boots and did my best to keep from staring at her. But I couldn’t help myself. I kept staring at her gorgeous legs incased in smoke colored hose. Those 4in black stiletto high heels she wore were a part of every fantasy I had. I felt my mouth going dry. I swallowed once. I swallowed twice. But it just felt like I was trying to swallow sand paper. I used my dry tongue and moved it about my teeth, trying to open up my saliva glands and produce some sort of wetness in my mouth. And at that same time, I felt that familiar twitch in my pants. Pushing my pelvis forward, I mashed my hardening cock against the display. Feeling the heat radiating from my cock as it touched moved inside my underwear only caused my mind to go into over drive and all I could think about was running my hands up and down her smooth hose covered legs.
I closed my eyes, took in a deep breath and tried to gather myself. I was 30 minutes from leaving for the day, and it would look awfully suspicious to my boss if I had to duck into the restroom for a few minutes this close to quitting time. When I opened my eyes, I was startled because standing before me was the goddess of my fantasies. She cleared her throat and in an irritated tone she snapped at me to fetch her a size 7 in the cherry red stiletto she held in her out stretched hand. Fumbling around, I knocked over the display of boots I had been pushing on. Quickly bending over to pick up the boots, I looked up at her, my face flush red with embarrassment and smiled and said I would get right on that.
She had shifted her feet and now stood with her right foot slightly more forward, her left hand on her hip and her right hand with the sexy manicured nails clutching the heel and thrusting it towards me. “Come on sugar, I don’t have all day.”
I stood up quickly, took the shoe from her and hurried off to the back. I knew exactly where those shoes were. I had just checked them right after lunch to make sure they were neatly stacked, and numerically stacked up. It was my way of hanging around those shoes all the time. Reaching for the 7’s. right in the middle of the stack, I pulled it out and before I knew it, I was buried in a mountain of boxes. My boss hurried into the back to find me restacking the boxes. He barked at me, “What the hell is going on back here? All you alright?” I mumbled under my breath I was fine and hurried to restack the boxes on the shelf so I could get back out there to her.
When I went back out front, I looked around her for, fearing she had left since it took me so long to restack the boxes. Just as I felt the life leave my body, I saw her stand back up as she had bent over to pick up a boot at the display I had knocked over. I rushed over to her with the box in hand and asked if she needed help trying them on to ensure they fit. She gave me a half smile as her eyes looked me up and down and then snorted, “sure, why not sugar, you’re cute enough.” She walked past me and at that moment I caught a whiff of her perfume that instantly filled my nostrils and caused me to turn and float after her. She walked right over to one of the single seats next to the high heel display and sat down. Crossing her legs, her skirt rode up just enough to expose some of her thigh and more of her hose. I pulled my stool up and sat down. Before I could get situated, she uncrossed her legs and placed her right foot on my thigh. Before I could react, I made eye contact with this goddess before me and noticed that same sly crooked smile on her face. As I reached for her shoe, I firmly grasped her calf in one hand and the heel of her shoe with the other. Slipping the shoe off, I noticed her toes had the same French tips as her fingers. Placing her foot back down on my thigh, I twisted for the box and grabbed the shoe I was going to place on her foot. At that same time, her foot slipped from my thigh and landed in my crotch. I tried to scoot backwards in an attempt to keep her foot off of my cock which had begun to harden once again only to find myself unable to because of the display behind me. Looking up at her again, she cocked one eyebrow eye and winked at me. She wiggled her toes a couple times on the head of my cock, before dragging the side of her foot back up my thigh. I shifted in my seat, cleared my throat and made the best attempt I could at putting the new shoe on her foot.
Once it was on, she quickly switched her feet and placed her other foot on my opposite thigh. Again, I reached for her calf, raised her leg and removed her shoe. Reaching for the other shoe again, her foot went straight to my crotch. Only this time instead of wiggling her toes, she actually stroked my cock with her foot. I was so close to orgasm, I had to grab her foot and pull it away to keep from shooting off in my pants. Placing her other foot in the shoe, I noticed a slight whimper escape from her mouth as she said in a pouting way, “Aww, are we close to losing it?”
As she went to stand I noticed her skirt had ridden up a little higher exposing the tops of her stockings and garter belt. As she pulled her skirt down, she gave a slight wiggle, grabbed her purse and said to me over her shoulder, I will wear them home. Hurrying to put her other shoes in the box and off to ring up her shoes, I could help but admire her old shoes. Although they were not old at all. Barely any scuff marks at all on these shoes. In fact these shoes don’t even look broken in. I heard her clear her throat and tell me to hurry up. I quickly throw the shoes in the box and hurry to ring her up. She flips out a credit card for her sale and with it I notice a piece of paper. Unfolding the paper, I am thinking it is a coupon, but I notice some hand writing. I had to read it three times to make sure I was reading what I was reading. It stated to meet her in the main parking lot of the mall, she will be in a black convertible. As she scribbled her signature, she whispered to me, “Don’t be long”
I finished up the sale, closed out and clocked out for the day and hurried out to the parking lot. Her car was very easy to spot. Just look for the top down and the dark headed goddess. As I approached her car, she pulled out a cigarette, put it between her lips and lit it. Taking a long deep drag of it she looked at me and told me to pull my cock out. Not believing what I just heard, I just stood there in silence not knowing what to do. She said it again, except this time she reached out and grabbed for my cock through my pants. The glowing tip of her cigarette just inches from my pants as it was pinched between her two fingers of the same hand that was now squeezing and stroking my cock. Looking at me she said in her sultry voice, “Sugar, if you don’t want to make a mess in your pants, you best pull your cock out and let me stroke it for you.” As I reached for my zipper, I looked around the parking lot to make sure no one could see what was about to happen.
At this point, I did not really care anymore. My stiff cock was in her hand and she was stroking it gently for me. Taking another drag on her cigarette, she stroked faster and looked up at me. “Sugar, I want you to shoot your hot cum on my legs.” Before she could take another drag, my cum was exploding from my cock and not only landing across her stockings, but on her skirt, on her blouse and even across the console of her car. With one final squeeze at the base of my cock and pulling the last few drops from me and into the palm of her hand, she started her car up and proceeding to back out and leave me literally standing there with my cock out. She handed me a business card and said call me sometime right before she pulled away and zipped out of my life just as quickly as she came in.
Shut up and listen
The other day I trued to write a post, but I just couldn’t come up with anything. Lately I have been down in the dumps and I just can’t seem to pull myself out of it. Maybe I need to seek professional help. Can you imagine how that will go? “Hey Doc, I am really screwed up. Can you believe the other day I though of fucking a squirrel?” Wait, did I just type that? Ok. I have never taken drugs, so I do not know where that came from other than my fingers just typing it out.
For those of you that know me, sometimes I get down in the dumps. Hell we all do. Sometimes we just need a good ear that will listen to us bitch and whine. Some people write in a blog. Some will text a friend. Others will pay someone to let them lie on a coach and spill their life story out. I would much rather pay for a blowjob then pay someone to listen to me talk. Hell, I think most guys would much rather have a blowjob then talk to a complete stranger. The exceptions are the gay guys. No offense. Sometimes I turn to comedy. Just the other day I was talking with someone and I made a sly grin. That person laughed at me and said you have the biggest shit eating grin. I stopped for a second, and thought. I have made that comment many many times, but never stopped to think about it. And that day, the more I thought about it, the sicker I got to my stomach. I mean, seriously, would you be grinning after eating shit? “YUMM THIS SHIT IS AWESOME!! LOOK AT ME SMILE!!!” Hold on while I wretch into the trash can.
The other day I was talking to another friend and she was all upset about something. Being the concerned type, I asked her what was wrong. She tells me she is in a bind. I am thinking, great, she needs money to get through the week. Hey, we all fall on hard times. I’ll help a friend in need if I can. Naturally, I asked her how much money she needed. A small grin came across her face and she said, ya know, I can always count on you to be there for me. But I do not need money. Thank you for offering. Well, then. What the hell are you in a bind about? “Well, I don’t know where to go to college. Should I go here and do this or stay here and do that?” I slapped myself on the forehead and said honey, if that’s all you have to worry about, you are doing just fine.
At some point in time we have experienced hard times. Short on money. Losing a job. Losing a loved one. A 4 hour erection that won’t go down. Oh to be 19 again. But the one constant thing in life is this. We always seem to rebound and come out of it stronger. Yes even after a 4 hour erection. A guy might not be able to grip a pen for a week, but his forearm is much stronger after a 4 hour erection.
Speaking of 4 hour erections. I love hearing those commercials where they talk about 4 hour erections. What is the cure for that? Next time I go in for a check up, I think I will ask my doctor. She will love answering that. So Doc (who by the way is a small petite Indian woman, you know Hindu.) how do you treat a 4 hour erection? Do you line the nurses up with a tube of KY and have them start stroking it until it finally peters out? Although, in my case, I would love for the Doc to just climb on board and take care of it for me. Holy shit she is a fine looking woman. Not to mention her nurse is the twin of the chic who plays Callie on Grey’s Anatomy. Another boner in my book. Hmmm Maybe a 3 way with those too. Talk about a game of Doctor. Hold that thought, I think I have a 4 hour erection coming on. Ok. I am done. Can someone hand me a towel please?
Where was I? Oh yea, hard times. Yes even I fall on hard times. Sometimes I just want that ear to listen to me. You don’t need to say a word. No need to pat me on the back and say don’t worry, it will be ok. No shit, I know that. Just sit there and listen. Please. Thank you. I know it will be ok. I know things will get better. I just want to talk and you listen. Now can I have a ham sandwich?
Bottom line is this. Life is a roller coaster filled with peaks and valleys. You learn to enjoy the climb to the peaks and the view from the top. And you learn to deal with the downhill slide and the valleys. You just hope those uphill’s are a lot longer then those downhill’s and the peaks are more of a plateau then a sharp one.
Me
I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.
For those of you that know me, sometimes I get down in the dumps. Hell we all do. Sometimes we just need a good ear that will listen to us bitch and whine. Some people write in a blog. Some will text a friend. Others will pay someone to let them lie on a coach and spill their life story out. I would much rather pay for a blowjob then pay someone to listen to me talk. Hell, I think most guys would much rather have a blowjob then talk to a complete stranger. The exceptions are the gay guys. No offense. Sometimes I turn to comedy. Just the other day I was talking with someone and I made a sly grin. That person laughed at me and said you have the biggest shit eating grin. I stopped for a second, and thought. I have made that comment many many times, but never stopped to think about it. And that day, the more I thought about it, the sicker I got to my stomach. I mean, seriously, would you be grinning after eating shit? “YUMM THIS SHIT IS AWESOME!! LOOK AT ME SMILE!!!” Hold on while I wretch into the trash can.
The other day I was talking to another friend and she was all upset about something. Being the concerned type, I asked her what was wrong. She tells me she is in a bind. I am thinking, great, she needs money to get through the week. Hey, we all fall on hard times. I’ll help a friend in need if I can. Naturally, I asked her how much money she needed. A small grin came across her face and she said, ya know, I can always count on you to be there for me. But I do not need money. Thank you for offering. Well, then. What the hell are you in a bind about? “Well, I don’t know where to go to college. Should I go here and do this or stay here and do that?” I slapped myself on the forehead and said honey, if that’s all you have to worry about, you are doing just fine.
At some point in time we have experienced hard times. Short on money. Losing a job. Losing a loved one. A 4 hour erection that won’t go down. Oh to be 19 again. But the one constant thing in life is this. We always seem to rebound and come out of it stronger. Yes even after a 4 hour erection. A guy might not be able to grip a pen for a week, but his forearm is much stronger after a 4 hour erection.
Speaking of 4 hour erections. I love hearing those commercials where they talk about 4 hour erections. What is the cure for that? Next time I go in for a check up, I think I will ask my doctor. She will love answering that. So Doc (who by the way is a small petite Indian woman, you know Hindu.) how do you treat a 4 hour erection? Do you line the nurses up with a tube of KY and have them start stroking it until it finally peters out? Although, in my case, I would love for the Doc to just climb on board and take care of it for me. Holy shit she is a fine looking woman. Not to mention her nurse is the twin of the chic who plays Callie on Grey’s Anatomy. Another boner in my book. Hmmm Maybe a 3 way with those too. Talk about a game of Doctor. Hold that thought, I think I have a 4 hour erection coming on. Ok. I am done. Can someone hand me a towel please?
Where was I? Oh yea, hard times. Yes even I fall on hard times. Sometimes I just want that ear to listen to me. You don’t need to say a word. No need to pat me on the back and say don’t worry, it will be ok. No shit, I know that. Just sit there and listen. Please. Thank you. I know it will be ok. I know things will get better. I just want to talk and you listen. Now can I have a ham sandwich?
Bottom line is this. Life is a roller coaster filled with peaks and valleys. You learn to enjoy the climb to the peaks and the view from the top. And you learn to deal with the downhill slide and the valleys. You just hope those uphill’s are a lot longer then those downhill’s and the peaks are more of a plateau then a sharp one.
Me
I will inflict the pain, but I will kiss away the tears.
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